Seanbaby: Don't mess with Aquaman. If you start destroying his ocean, he'll feed you snacks and leave. I think it matters how much you destroy, though. Those purple guys were using dynamite, so they got Twinkies. I peed on him off a boat, and all he did was toss me a half-eaten tootsie roll. When Dr. Doom set off a nuclear warhead and started an underwater volcanic eruption, Aquaman punished him by sending a six foot party sub and a birthday cake. Dr. Doom: It's true. The aquafool gave me a series of delicious gifts when I destroyed his pathetic underwater city. Doom admits his confusion. Mr. Fish: Look at those aqua pansies. They don't even try to fight the SCUBA guys. "Sorry we're destroying your city, Aquaman! But we have this note from our doctor!" And the Aquaqueers just left them alone. They just floated there in their little panties and took it. "Well.... I guess if you have a map and everything.... Hey Aqualad? Do you maybe want to play movie star nude photo shoot with me?" You fucking pansy, Aquaman. I don't care if you can talk to fish, because speaking as one, none of them would ever return your calls. Now, if Burt Reynolds or maybe one of those purple SCUBA guys there could speak my language... then we could show you how to put it to some use. But who needs fishtalk when you speak the language of love, baby? Luke Cage: Back in the seventies when me and my partner Iron Fist would almost get killed by a loser whose only power was having a hammer for a hand, we used to read this Aquaman ad to feel better about ourselves. Man, we could let an orphanage burn to the ground and get our asses kicked by Dr. Grandma's Umbrella Cookie Troops and we were still better heroes than this loser.