#1: ET, The Extra Terrestrial (2600)|
This game was so bad it actually destroyed the life of the Atari 2600. The Atari 2600 had a game where General Custer raped Indians tied to cactuses, and THAT couldn't kill the system. Here's how E.T. did it: most of the gameplay was E.T. trying to escape from scientists and jumping into pits to find parts of his telephone. Once you were in a pit, that's when the fun began. If there was no chunk of telephone in the pit, which was only the case in 97% of them, you could leave by stretching out ET's neck until he slowly, SLOWLY floated up. This was the most satisfying part of the game since it looked like an invisible monster was trying to tear his head off.
ET has never looked worse. Which is a pretty amazing accomplishment since he started out looking like a slimy little space turtle's penis.
This is an actual true story: Atari manufactured five million E.T. cartridges, and according to Atari's CEO, "nearly all of them came back." It got to a point where the world's children refused to take them for free. To put that into perspective, I've seen kids buy dead spiders from each other for a nickle. Calling this game a piece of trash is actually scientifically accurate because Atari eventually took their massive collection of useless E.T. cartridges and buried it in a New Mexico landfill. So if you ever lose your mind and want a copy of E.T., or maybe five million, grab a shovel and drive out to the desert. They're free.
A Little Boy's Love: 10/10
E.T. can make you press the power button on his game, but the power button to his heart... that was inside you the whole time.