What about the other applications of Gastrobot technology? The Easy Bake oven that ran on cupcake batter didn't do much more than get rid of extra cupcake batter and kind of wiggle, while the frozen light post that ran on children's tongues was considered a disaster by all experts, including the expert on Bat Boy. Some Gastrobot technology like the never-ending-story that ran on imagination was a safe and wonderful invention until a scientist accidentally invented a hand grenade that the never-ending-story could hold and throw. Terror is on the way: what happens when New Scientist magazine thinks to build a flying shark generator that's fueled by old flying sharks? I'm no calculator, but let's see... that's one, two... INFINITY flying sharks. Here's a short list of people who aren't ready for that: me. My own fear and distrust led me to spend the last three weeks of my life constructing a weapon capable of countering "Chew Chew." The only problem was that I don't know anything about robots, science, or tiny trains. The closest I came to the scientific community was during 10th grade when I wrote my hypothesis, "What I Would Have Done Over the Summer if I Would Have Had a Kickass Rocket Pack," which got a D. That's when I noticed the original Gastrobot was made out of Legos. And according to my 11th grade thesis, "Legos and Me: Rockin' the House in Style!" that was my area of expertise. First I studied the schematical blueprint readoutitude of "Chew Chew": (1) Pumps for Redox Solution: These take up most of the caboose, and their job is to wave to everyone as the train passes. This helps trick people into getting close enough for the Mouth (2) to get them. Which yes, looks like it's mostly made out of a plastic Bullwinkle head. Sometimes science can be retarded. (3) Battery Bank: This is probably a decoy since if you remember from the entire purpose of the robot, the engine runs on meat, not batteries. It was installed to trick people into thinking the train didn't want to eat them. This shows science's more crafty side. (4) Oesophagus: This is a fancy word for pipe. It's where the chunks of meat are transferred from the surface of babies to the robot's stomach. (5) Ultrasonic eyes: These see the world much in the same way our eyes do, only everyone's head is replaced by a picture of a succulent turkey drumstick. Similar to the way the vision of a fat person works. (6) DC Motor: A cute abbreviation for "Dissolving Child Motor." (7) E. Coli Powered Stomach: The deadly E. Coli bacteria is normally found on burgers that have been exposed to feces, undercooked, dropped on the floor, and served fresh by someone who hates their life. Thankfully, science has found a more complicated way for it to kill you. After I finished my analysis, I realized that I didn't know what most of the words on the schematic meant. But that didn't stop me from building this-- the ultimate Anti-Gastrobot Raygun with Battle Pals: (1) Ninja: I stuck this on for added stealth. I couldn't find his legs. (2) Gun Handle: Most of Raygun's handle is made of rowboat to make ensure that it will always float in the bathtub. It also helps prevent it from sinking down and conquering the bottom of the sea. (3) Justice Barrel: This contains all the components to prevent Raygun from being used for evil. If it's ever removed, Raygun will automatically release it's ninth-dimensional power source and destroy what science calls "the universe." But that totally can't happen since it's protected by the little robot arm (4) holding a sword. (5) Combat Cycle (6) Electon-Switch This switches from on to off. I don't know what an electron is. (7) Billy Nitro An unknown traveller. (8) Main Beam Dispersal Unit This shoots out lasers, heat rays, iceballs, and many other types of projectiles. The head directly above it is in charge of picking what type of beam is fired, but it's never not picked killer bees. (9) Frugo! Frugo! can be found anywhere children are in trouble. His head is a cup. (10) Darth Maul on Pony This is Darth Vader's uncle or whatever. He may have been a design flaw due to his love of crime. (11) Flag I put this on there so no Europeans could sail over and claim the raygun as theirs. So far it's 100% effective. Continue to Part 3