The Absoludicrous Rating System, as Described by Celebrity Bruce Willis Impersonator, Me:
This rating helps to quickly determine how ridiculous a video is. It goes from one, the closest to everyday life, to five-- supreme madness. This rating is official and verified by several committees for the standardization of absoludicry, however; there is a two point margin of error depending on the background and ethnocentrism of specific readers.
For example, some readers are afraid of a red man with a pitchfork who lives in an invisible underground kingdom with millions of boiling dead people, so they won't think it's at all strange when other people get together and create motivational extreme roller blading music videos to scare him away.

Keep in mind that a high rating can be good or bad. It may mean that your mind will be permanently damaged such as in Oxycise! and Chair Dancing. However, it may also indicate that the video achieves a new level of kickass unattainable by videos made by people of normal sanity, like in Mr. T's Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool.

To even be rated on the Absoludicrous scale, a video has to be pretty fucked up, but a rating of one indicates that at least parts of it may be normal. Normal in this case being a world where you don't learn about the dangers of alcohol from talking ice cream cones.

This is probably a video for a very specific audience and there's a small chance that the creators are allowed to sometimes eat with a fork. To most people the video will be bizarre and give you a sense of shame, but you'll know at least one person who might enjoy it. Like maybe an uncle who always wanted a video about a workout you can do from a fishing boat with paper plates. It's also common for videos to get an Absoludicrous Rating of 2 by trying to make something sane and failing very very badly.

Here's a good rule of absoludicrous thumb: the score is the same fraction of people involved in the video that were completely out of their mind. Thus a score of 3/5 means that three out of five people working on the video thought they were jetfighter pilots covered in insects and implanted with alien fetuses. Once you get to this point of Absoludicrous, it's hard to turn back. For example, if during production two people spoke up and said, "Hey, hey. We shouldn't be making an educational video about chewing glass for the Lord," there were three other people to tell those first two people to shut up eat a light bulb.

You not only don't know anyone who they might have made this video for, you'll give yourself nightmares if you ever do try to picture the kind of person they might have made this video for. At this level of Absoludicrousness, you'll probably suspect that the video is some sort of device for secret societies to send messages to each other because the alternative -SOMEONE MEANT TO DO THIS- is too frightening to believe.

Your brain will never be the same. A full score of five means that the video is probably breaking laws by existing. It means that the basic idea for the video was so demented that even if they did have high production values, an unlimited budget, and twenty six Flash Gordons, it still wouldn't have been good. If an extraterrestrial intelligence were to ever see a video with an Absoludicrous Rating of 5, we would immediately be vaporized from orbit because we're clearly far too dangerous to keep as slaves.

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