Thanks for this picture, Rosy. I'm scared of Stilt Man, Cypher, and Destiny. If they formed a team, it wouldn't matter who you found to help, you're dead. Okay, for example, say I team up with a group of Chinese martial arts masters to fight them.

We hide in the shadows preparing to strike. Stilt Man, Cypher, and Destiny walk by. The Terrific Trio. Stilt man's armor has been newly polished, and Cypher's young body is just starting to fill out his New Mutants spandex suit. Destiny has sealed her face in an opaque gold metal mask, but that doesn't matter; she's blind anyway.

Me and my team of deadly Chinese warriors prepare to make our move, but somehow Destiny senses our next thought!

Suddenly she shudders and channels the words from an unknown source, "'Bong lok ching sang. Le bing go wa!' What does that mean, Cypher?"

Cypher responds with instincts forged from countless conversations, "*Gasp* Someone is going to use the Flying Death Attack!"

Stilt Man immediately triggers his legs to start their growing action. It's what he does. Soon he is a small figure standing 4 stories above everyone on two 6 inch metal poles.

Damn. Destiny has cost us the element of surprise.

One of the martial arts masters near me runs over to knock him down. Cypher screams something at him using his mutant ability to scream it in the correct language. Destiny uses her precognition to warn Stilt Man of the attacker.

We hear his faint reply, now eight stories up.


Destiny removes her gold mask to reveal her sexy features.

Cypher's firm young mutant body.
The ninja (chinese monk) smashes one of Stilt Man's legs with a big 2x4 he picked up at Calhoon Palace. It has no effect. Stilt Man has prepared for that with all kinds of gyro things and impact dampeners. Cypher makes a comment on Stilt man's clever forethought in Arabic.

Destiny senses figures approaching her from all sides, even before they are there. She uses this advanced warning to crawl in to a fetal position before they get a chance to attack.

She knows they tie her up with duct tape even before Fei Chong suggests it.

Cypher takes a dramatic pose and begins singing the Cuban national anthem in perfect Swahili. The confusion it brings buys him valuable seconds.

Stilt Man releases the Empire Strikes Back lunchbox he was holding and vocalizes his clever use of gravity as a weapon.

"Ha ha. This will be the last snack those ninjas get!"

With their years of training, the monks' senses have been trained to pick up the sound of birds masturbating miles away. They hear Stilt Man's comment, and simultaneously respond, "We are not ninjas!"

I giggle as Stilt Man replies from twelve stories up with, "What?"

I begin to butter the bottom of Stilt Man's feet when he steps.

Ling Tsing easily sidesteps the lunchbox and drinks the hot contents of the thermos before it can hit the ground. This monk has trained for countless meals in the mastery of drinking soup.

"Ah! Hot!" he screams, but we all know it's just a false show of humility. I once saw him swish boiling oil around in his mouth.

In our festive dance performed in honor of Ling Tsing's task, we forget about Cypher. He has wrapped his black socks around his head to look like a ninja, and tries to casually join in the dance.

We decide to pretend we don't notice, but Huang Tang screws it up when he starts laughing. Cypher stops his singing (in perfect Cantonese), and hangs his head in shame. He shuffles slowly away and begins speaking German.

"Ich ben ein shtinker. Ich trinke gern ein beir. Pigeon."
[I should never have been a hero. I'm just a kid who speaks pigeon.]

"That's it!" he screams as a light bulb appears over his mutant head.

Meanwhile, Stilt Man has started his falling sequence. The buttered bottoms of his feet have both slipped out from under him and he slowly falls from his lofty position (now 19 stories up).

We can barely hear his distant cries to a god that doesn't seem to be listening.

The monks begin performing a dance to praise my clever lubrication idea, but before Stilt Man can hit the ground, he is lifted up by... pigeons?

I quickly turn my head to where Cyper was, and see him twenty feet above the ground being carried by several pigeons.

Cypher grins at me and says, "Coooo! Bdddloooo! Coo! Coo! Seanbaby."
[Next time it will take more than pigeons to save you from my wrath, Seanbaby]

I give him a grimace as he flies away. Our overconfidence was our undoing. Round one goes to you, Terrific Trio. Round one goes to you.

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