Don't mess with Aquaman. If you start destroying his ocean, he'll feed you snacks and leave. I think it matters how much you destroy, though. Those SCUBA guys were using dynamite, so they got Twinkies. I peed on him off a boat, and all he did was toss me a half-eaten tootsie roll. When Dr. Doom sent Atlantis to a dimension where faggy underwater cities explode, Aquaman punished him by sending him a six foot party sub and a birthday cake.
His words are true. The aquafool gave Doom a series of delicious gifts when Doom destroyed his pathetic underwater city. Doom was sure it was a trap, yet instead, it was only delightful. Let history tremble for this is the moment where the unfathomable Doom admits confusion!
Look at those aqua pansies. They don't even try to fight the SCUBA guys. "Sorry we're destroying your city, Aquaman! But we have this note from our caterer!" And the underwater sodomites just leave them alone. They just float there in their tiny pants and take it. "Well.... I guess if you have a map and everything.... Hey Aqualad? Do you maybe want to go somewhere and play fill the mouth with balls?" Hey, Aquaman, what good is talking to fish if we don't return your calls? Ha ha, FACE!
Back in the seventies when me and my partner Iron Fist would almost get killed by a karate man whose only power was having a hammer for a hand, we used to read this Aquaman ad to feel better about ourselves. Man, we could let a crowded preschool burn to the ground and get our asses kicked by Dr. Grandma's Umbrella Cookie Troops and we were still better heroes than this cracker.