The face of a baby with the body of a nazi & bear killing supermachine-- his only weakness is that he needs Tootsie Rolls to accomplish any single thing he does. Captain Tootsie rules!
THE RUNAWAY HORSE
THE RADAR RESCUE
THE MYSTERIOUS PLAN
CAPTAIN TOOTSIE TRAPS KILLER BEAR WITH INVISIBLE LIGHT
THE GIANT CANNON
CAPTAIN TOOTSIE BREAKS UP SPY RING
CAPTAIN TOOTSIE TO THE RESCUE
CAPTAIN TOOTSIE CHEERS ORPHANS
THE LOG JAM RESCUE
CAPTAIN TOOTSIE AT THE SNOW CARNIVAL
CAPTAIN TOOTSIE'S COUNTER-SPOOK
THE SECRET WEAPON!
VOLTO FROM MARS
When he says, "Volto!" his LEFT arm REPELS! And when he says, "Volto!" his RIGHT arm ATTRACTS! Grape Nuts recharge his fantastic magnetic powers through unknown but almost certainly retarded means.
"WHAT A WAY TO RUN A ROLLER COASTER!"
"LOOK! THERE ARE WHITE PEOPLE IN THAT BOAT!"
"HEY! I SMELL SMOKE!"
"A SHARK! HEY! LOOK OUT!"
"LOOK! THE MATADOR IS HURT!"
"WHY DID YOU LET THEM TIE US UP, VOLTO?"
"SWELL SHOT.. YOU'VE HIT THE BEAR!"
"HEY! LOOK- A BIG METEOR!"
ADVENTURES OF "R.C." AND QUICKIE
Two adventurers with the ability to force a discussion of RC cola into even the most dire of situations.
THE CAVE'S SECRET
THE MAD BULL
FOUR AGAINST THE SEA
DRAMA ON THE HIGHWAY!
Thom McAn shoes: water proof, comfortable, and when outfitted with optional bazooka attachments, can conquer the easily conquered!
HOW THOM MCAN CAUGHT THE ESCAPED CONVICTS!
FAMOUS SPORTS FLOPS - THE TOO EAGER "BEAVER"
HOW THOM MCAN BLITZED THE "BULLET PROOF MEN!"
HOW THOM MCAN RESCUED THE DOOMED LINER
ORDINARY PRODUCTS ADVERTISED IN INSANE WAYS
JUDY AND JIM DEFY SAVAGE GORILLA!
REMOVE UGLY BLACKHEADS OR NO COST
I JUST LOVE MY NEW DOLL FROM KENNER... BABY ALIVE
COLGATE JUNIOR AND CAPTAIN AMERICA - COUNT PLAQUE
BLITZED BY LIGHTNING JU-JITSU!
THE DINGO KIDS MEET O.J. SIMPSON
OLD NICK IN THE NICK OF TIME AT THE MIDGET AUTO RACES
HE-MAN AND THE WONDERS OF BIG BABOL
SUBSCRIBE TO PANIC
LIFE SIZE INFLATABLE DOLL
JOWETT "STRONG-MAN" EXERCISES
POPSICLE PETE IN HOLLYWOOD
MEET A BIT-O-HONEY - SHE MAKES A HONEY OF A RESCUE!
DAYDREAM MIKE AND HIS WONDERFUL BIKE!
HI KIDS! GET IN MY DAVY CROCKETT PLAYHOUSE TENT!
THE SECRET OF TREASURE CAVE
JIM DRISCOLL IN "DANGER ON THE FIELD"
"U.S." ROYAL WITH HIS JET-PROPELLED BIKE
No force on Earth can stand up to "U.S." and his ability to quickly ride his bicycle somewhere else to get help!
FOCUSING ON THE FIREBUG
RUINING THE RANSOM PLAN
RACING TO THE RESCUE
"SAVING THE SECRET SUPERSONIC PLANE"
"SABOTAGING THE SABOTEURS"
TRAPPING THE HIJACKERS
AFTER THE ATOM SPIES
TRAPPING A BANDIT
BEATING THE BEACH BARRAGE
A crime fighter with hair so perfectly creamed and oiled with WildRoot hair products, it's impossible not to bring it up. All the time.
DEATH ON THE SPEEDWAY
MURDER ON THE MOVIE SET
SAM TAKES HIMSELF FOR A RIDE
THE CASE OF THE TELL-TALE COMB
BAZOOKA THE ATOM BUBBLE BOY
You'd be surprised how many problems can only be solved by a little boy who floats on a bubble gum bubble.
PAINTER IN PERIL!
DARING RESCUE AT SEA!
RACISM & HELPING YOUR FELLOW MAN, EVEN WHEN THEY'RE A RACE
TOM MIX FOR INSTANT RALSTON
WHAT'S YOUR B.Q.?
FREE! WHILE THEY LAST! 10 "HITLER HEADS"
BUZZY SCORES ONE FOR THE HANDICAPPED!
ENJOY HILARIOUS "MONKEY SHINES" AT YOUR NEXT MASQUERADE PARTY
WHEATIES - JAP BOOBY TRAP
GIFTS FROM YOUR ELDERS!
WHEATIES - JAP LINGO
BATMAN AND ROBIN STAND UP FOR SPORTSMANSHIP!
MEATLOAF IN "HEROES HELPING HEROES"
INSANE PRODUCTS ADVERTISED APPROPRIATELY
BICYCLE WINDSHIELD - ONLY $1.00
THE BIONIC WOMAN... AND HER BIONIC BEAUTY SALON
RUB THE BUDDHA FOR MONEY!
FREE! 200 OFFICIAL ALAN LADD WALLETS!
WEAR AMAZING *SHOCKER* AND HAVE DEADLY SELF DEFENSE POWER IN YOUR HAND
ORAL ROBERTS LIFE STORY AS TOLD BY HIMSELF
CADET HEALTH SUPPORTER BELT
The most famous stupid comic ad of all time from "The World's Most Perfectly Developed Man," a title he almost certainly didn't just make up himself.
THE INSULT THAT MADE A MAN OUT OF "MAC"
THE INSULT THAT TURNED A "CHUMP" INTO A *CHAMP*
Hey, kids! Ads with
means I've written jokes about them!
ARTICLES FROM MY OLD
STUPID COMICS PAGE
TURNER D. CENTURY
MR. T & THE T-FORCE
WORDS & DESIGN BY
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let me know
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Hostess Fruit Pies
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