Seanbaby: I had no idea that when swimsuit and tanning oil sales drop, companies send their executives out to the beach to give economic speeches to super heroes. The highlight for me is how we don't even get to see the fight between Aquaman and Slud-Jak. We go from the first punch to a picture of Aquaman trying to figure out a way to beat him. It's like the artist said, "Shit, we know he's going to lose, I don't need to draw it."

Mr. Fish: Jesus Christ, Aquaman makes it embarrassing to be a fish. He sucks so hard that it's totally reasonable to him for three assholes to come up and give him orders. Glub. He's like, "I can't do anything about people being eaten, but I've got to try! For the grumpy bathing suit salesman! And for the tanning oil rep! But most of all, for that cook that was such a dick to me!" Maybe next week they'll have Aquaman back to solve the mystery of why they're not getting a foot rub and what they have to do to get a fucking fresh mai tai around here.

Luke Cage: This ad is called "That Dirty Beach?" Ha ha, that's what my Puerto Rican pal Garcia calls his woman.