It's important when you're building the ultimate un-manned tank to include an off switch. You know, just in case it decides to go berserk and kill everything. Which should have been about the first thing you'd expect it to do. It's also not a good idea to test it in the city public park. Giant lasers and playgrounds only go together if you're a hungry alien. The only thing these guys in the labcoats did right was putting a giant bag of fruit pies inside the Ultimate Weapon. That way, if the nation's enemy destroys it -- Oh! there's a delicious treat for them inside!
Can the Hulk ever go for a walk and not run into some giant indestructable thing? Glub. He called me last week and was all "Fish Man want golf with Hulk?" and I said, "Fuck you, Hulk. Every time I'm around you, a giant squid comes out of a crack in the Earth." I didn't really say "Fuck you, Hulk," but the rest is true. One time we were on the beach playing badminton for just a couple hours and during that time we ended up getting attacked by 3 spaceships, a time hurricane, a sea monster, a clown with pies made out of paste, and two branches of the military. I don't even pick up the phone anymore if I think it's the Hulk. Just from him being on the line, it'll probably get hit by a radiation storm and turn into a fish-eating superphone.
Doom appreciates the care each of the people takes in protruding their pinkies while eating their pies. Manners are important even when standing amidst the volatile wreckage of experimental atomic tanks.