Seanbaby: When you're a renowned nuclear physicist that can pick up gasoline tankers, you might be overqualified for the post office. In fact, from what I've seen, if you can form a sentence, tell the difference between two names or numbers, or move a box from one place to another without kicking it against a wall, you also might be overqualified for postal work. But I cannot stress this enough - the Phoomie Goonies and this ad are the greatest things ever. It takes some serious balls to be in an Incredible Hulk bearhug and still negotiate.

PHOOMIE GOONIE: "We surrender for FRUIT PIES!"

HULK: "No, Hulk squeeze Goonies until eyes pop out."

PHOOMIE GOONIE: "Our new conditions are that we surrender for FREE!"

Mr. Fish: I really hope this was just some kind of fraternity prank. Phoomie Goonies? It sounds like some shit you'd say to a baby. What kind of revolutionary group would name themselves after goo-goo diaper talk? Maybe the kind that only has three members and two machine guns between them. Glub. Maybe the kind that thinks anyone will care if they hijack a post office. "We're holding 14 christmas presents and an International Male catalog hostage! Your corrupt government will grant us complete control over your united states or we will burn one Best Buy coupon every 10 minutes!"

Oh, and nice moustaches, Goonies. Did you find those inside a box of gay sex?

Luke Cage: Sweet Christmas! Can Hulk even go pick up a GOD damn letter without getting attacked? That fool barely had time to cool out over his crazy fear of forms and tests before all that shit went down. I seen rodeo clowns covered in hamburger meat get attacked less often than this green whitie.