Spider-Man what? SPOILS A SNATCH? Ha ha ha, "Spider-Man Hinders a Hair Pie!"

Luke Cage:
Dig Peter Parker's clever excuse in the middle of the bank robbery to keep his girlfriend from knowing he's Spider-Man. "Gee, Mary Jane, I just thought of something!" Man, you're lucky you're dating such a GOD damn idiot, Spider-Man. Spider-Man and Cup Cakes in "Spider-Man Violates a Vagina!" Ha ha ha!

Mr. Fish:
This guy's power is making more of himself? That's a real tragedy for such an ugly bastard. I know my power is being a fish, and I'm as ugly as a corpse's armpit, but at least my super power doesn't remind me of that every time I use it. How does this guy even rob a museum? When the cops show up, they'll find 200 identical guys arguing over which clones should keep robbing and which ones should go to the bald asshole store to pick up 200 wigs. "Spider-Man: Contaminates a Cunt!" Ha ha ha!

Dr. Doom:
"Peter Parker Fucks Up a Furburger!" Ha ha ha! Costumes provided by Lady Ted's Pants Suit Factory.