Monster Bass!
System: Playstation

As boring as a normal fishing game, but with a stupid story added about misguided fish scientists who create a species of extra strong fish in their laboratory that you bravely catch. This makes me think of a story from college. At a party, a drunk friend of ours lost his mind. He was three hundred pounds and a beer-fueled furniture smashing machine, and we didn't like the idea of him being loose near so many people and things that could be pounded into liquid by his ham fists.

My friend Craig, also drunk, came up with the idea of putting him in front of a fishing video game with a 64 ounce mug of beer. Two hours later, he wandered out to the living room in his boxers (we later found out that this was because he'd peed in his pants) and mumbled to a room full of mostly strangers, "I caught a crappie." He then repeated it to no one in particular, filled his mug from their fridge that was also a keg, and went back to the game. I thought I'd tell you that story because I think it was a nice try by the makers of Monster Bass! to add drama to a fishing game with the whole evil superfish storyline, but to really add a sense of urgency to a fishing game, you need a room full of people worried they're going to have to duct tape an insane, hyperstrong fat man to the couch if it's not engaging enough.
This is kind of a better story when I can act it out, since I do a really good impression of that dude saying, "I caught a crappie." My favorite part of the whole thing though, was how even as a comedy writer, I can't figure out exactly why "I caught a crappie" was the funniest thing he could have said, half naked and smelling like pee. That fucker really did wet his pants.

Originally appeared in issue #170