Why was he even on the team? He was just a less dressed version of Lex Luthor with some buttons pasted to his head. Isn't their evil genius position filled? Buy a laptop, Legion of Doom. Don't dress up a computer in knee socks, bloomers, and a golf shirt. Plus, Brainiac is what stupid children call smart kids when they don't have more distinguishing flaws like smelling like pee or eating things they find in their nose. Even with that wuss Toyman on your team, you're really demeaning yourself now.

The Super Friends were always hiring unqualified people. Hawkman, Hawkgirl, and Robin were all just crappier versions of superheroes that already worked for them. But they're good guys. You can understand them hiring their cousin superheroes as favors or letting people in for public relations. The Legion of Doom shouldn't care about shit like that. It seems weird they're spending their mornings enslaving and murdering innocent people and then coming home to make sure all their idiot friends have jobs.

If there's one thing we should have learned by now, it's that robots are only walking encyclopedias. You can teach them to serve drinks or do your homework, and they'll have sex with you for a can of oil and a bottle of turtle wax, but they'll never beat you in a fight. All it takes is a hug and they explode. Their computer brains can never truly understand that it's our feelings that make us special. What good are all the deadly super devices in the world if you can't understand the joy of a puppy's unconditional love, Brainiac?


Brilliant Escape
Video (0:46)

Brainiac vs. Lois Lane
Video (1:02)

vs. The Human Spirit!
Video (0:58)

Flawless Computerized Plan
Video (0:55)

Radar Scrambler
Video (0:14)

vs. Green Lantern
Video (0:59)

Grodd Steals His Idea
Video (1:04)

Brainiac's Changes

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