There was an air of mystery to El Dorado. But not in the same way normal people are mysterious. In one episode, the world had no disasters that required a man to slowly teleport across a room in a puff of glitter, so he took a break from heroics to lead a small tour of his country's pyramids. He gave out helpful information like, "These are the mysterious ruins of my people!" Although he was right, and their mystery was maybe worth mentioning, most of the mystery came from the fact that the person in charge of making him Mexican hadn't read any books on Mexico. Some people are mysterious because they don't tell you anything. El Dorado is mysterious because he doesn't know anything.

Bonus Behind-the-Scenes Fact:
The show's writers eventually moved on to other projects after they forgot where the Super Friends office was and how exactly to look that kind of information up. They collaborated on a hard-boiled Vietnam war novel entitled The War Fighters. Here's an excerpt:

We were in a formation that has a name in military jargon, and the boss leader of the war group of us said we were going to attack the enemies in several units of time measurement used by my people. I was nervous and grabbed the handle of an army device while I adjusted my bowtie. The type of trees that grow there were filled with mysterious fruits and walnuts. They adjusted their bowties.

SUPER RATING: 1
Of all the powers El Dorado seemed to have then lose then have again, the show never mentioned the one amazing ability most common among latino people. Here's a true story: during summers as a migrant strawberry-picker, I discovered a super power shared by all, or perhaps more than all, Mexican people. They can fit over 70 of themselves in one van. That's not an exaggeration or heatstroke; it's science fact. I once watched people pour out of some vans for an entire day straight. Some of the people in the back didn't even get out in time to go to work, and I'm sure some of those vans are still unloading people as we speak. Since it's simple knowledge that you can't fit more than 20 or so people in one van without smashing them into liquid form, it can mean only one of two things: all their vans are parked directly on top of some kind of underground strawberry railroad, or -more likely- Mexicans can shrink to tiny tiny size when no white people are looking.


Besides torturing children, the bad English speakers on the show had other harmful effects. El Dorado, Apache Chief, and the dog were serious liabilities to the Super Friends detective skills. The Super Friends solved crimes in two ways: asking their computer to do it, or stumbling onto the solution by saying something stupid. For example, Marvin might say, "They've kidnapped Aquaman! We're in a real pickle now!" Which would cause Batman to say, "That's it! Now I remember that they're keeping Aquaman at the Gotham Pickle Factory!" Idioms are half the Super Friends' detective work. And if there's one thing we learned from perfect-stranger Balki, foreigners say idioms so wrong they're better off peeing in your ear. Which they just might.

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