Do it, Super Friends!
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vs. the Lion Men!
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Gets Ditched
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vs. Mr. Freeze (old school)
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My Duty as a Citizen! (old school)
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Inflatable Bumper Cars!
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Robin's Voice of Reason
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vs. Tornado Ray
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Devil's Cliff
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Escape Artist
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Mini Bat Computer's Plan
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Saved by an Inflatable Boomerang
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Bad guys weren't even better. Batman and Robin would show up, and they'd say, "It's Batman!" If they even remembered to lock Robin up, they didn't waste a chain on his cage door. Villains figured the glassy-eyed half naked super boy didn't know how to open a door, locked or not.

Why did he bother with the mask? My friends seem to recognize me when I wear sunglasses, and they cover more of my face than that little thing. Besides, any Catholic priest could recognize that hot Robin ass anywhere. He needs to try harder on his disguise, something like a moustache or a headband.

Actually, he did eventually come up with a really good secret identity. After Lex Luthor developed the Anti-Robin Rod* specifically designed to destroy him, Robin disguised himself as a Laker Girl for three seasons. That's right, in '89 - '91, the little boy dancer in the mask was actually TV's Robin!

* The Anti-Robin Rod was just a wiffle bat with a clock radio scotch taped to the bottom. Which might still be a little bit too much weapon. I think if you gave a straw to a monkey and pointed it in the right direction, that would pretty much SEAL ROBIN'S DOOM FOR-EVER!

What's he doing on the Super Friends? Did he win some sort of raffle? Was he a paper boy that got deputized during some emergency nucleoid robot droid attack on Bruce Wayne's block? Maybe he was just some television tool to help kids feel better about forgetting to wear their pants.

Robin was pretty much around to save Batman's life when he did something really really stupid. And he needed it. Batman was the kind of always-alert detective guy who would stand next to a machine and get his cape caught in the gears. That actually happened a couple times. And instead of pulling it out or taking it off, he'd struggle and talk to himself until it either turned him into a spray of mess or Robin yanked him out. Let's face it, some of the Super Friends were tough. It didn't matter if Superman forgot about his cape and got pulled through a garbage disposal. On a good day he'd save us all, and on a bad day he was still invincible. Not Batman. When Batman screwed up, he needed someone there to throw out the Bat-Safety net or the Bat-Crabs Shampoo. He needed someone level headed enough to tell him not to go swimming in the lava. Unfortunately, Robin never spoke up as much as he should have. Batman would suggest driving the Batmobile through a fireball with the top down. And instead of slapping him in the mouth or even diving out of the car, Robin would say, "Holy We're Going to Fucking Die! It's our only chance, Batman!"

The whole idea of Robin was irresponsible crime fighting. It was bad enough to send a 13 year old boy against homicidal aliens with nuclear weapons, but to dress him like a fucking signal flare is just asking for a disaster. It's all fun now making a kid do whatever you tell him and yank your cape out of the gears, but you know any day, a villain's going to think to aim at the bright red helpless target, and the Super Friends are going to have to call his parents and explain everything.