SUPER THEATER!!

vs. Giant Robot Snake
Video (0:56)


Triangulation Lesson
Video (0:27)


We Skipped Physics Again
Video (1:01)


Wonder Woman Gives Up
Video (0:25)


You Damn Bimbo
Video (0:36)


Space Jail Break
Video (1:02)


vs. Wonder Woman Android
Video (0:55)


vs. Monster Painting
Video (0:39)


Rokan Breaks the Lasso
Video (0:28)


Magic Lasso Rocket
Video (0:42)


vs. Water Monster
Video (0:52)

She gets a lot of crap for her star panties even though everyone on her team wears pretty much the same outfit. It's like every superhero went swimming one morning and said, "Shit, guys. We don't have to go home and change! We could just go fight crime like this." I guess it does look a little bit cheap on Wonder Woman, though. Samurai's only wearing bloomers and gogo boots too, but he's from Japan, and there's that insane cultural gap. We're lucky he's not wearing dead fish and a pink cowboy hat. Maybe this is another gender double standard like how boys can have sex with girls without being called lesbians, but Wonder Woman should have at least put on a skirt. It looked like she was working for tips. If I saw her in a club, I'd say "Hey, give me change for that five, bartender. This next dancer looks cheap."

SUPER RATING: 5
She had the same voice as every other girl on the show, so if you weren't paying close attention while the show was on, someone that at least sounded like Wonder Woman was always kicking ass. She was super strong, sometimes remembered to block lasers with her bracelets, and she honestly did seem to be able to tell what was going on on her invisible jet's instrument panel.

If the people making the show remembered, Wonder Woman had an unbreakable magic lasso too. It broke about once a week, and she left it lying around even more than that. Most times, it caught up with her by the next scene, though. One of her favorite attacks was to throw the thing around a monster's neck, turning it into a monster with a rope dangling from its neck. Then it usually wandered off with her rope.

Wonder Woman's Lasso
The lasso magically forced people to tell the truth, but no villains were smart enough to lie anyway. You didn't even need to interrogate them, they gave away most of their plan on accident anyway. "My satellite's force beam, that can only be stopped by the access code 1-2-3-4, is turning the world into my slaves!" And maybe it's just me, but when a sexy woman in trampy hot pants and a halter top ties me up, I'm done playing games. When we were sharing drinks earlier, I told her I was captain of the olympic diving team and that I won a Nobel prize in Penis, but now... it's time for blunt, sexy, dirty talking honesty. If that kind of situation can't drag unmitigated truth out of you, nothing ever will, double-o-seven. I wouldn't lie to Wonder Woman, the only thing the lasso would do to me is get me uninhibited enough to go through with my idea to sing Barry White at her.

Wonder Woman's Ice Ray
Originally, the running gag of the Super Friends show was to have her throw the rope around different Super Friends at the end of every episode and make them confess to embarrassing secrets. The first few confessions were pretty tame, mostly they confessed to eating each other's leftover pizza or not washing their hands after using the bathroom. Then one day, Aquaman took out a wallet full of photos of all the sea creatures he's humped, including a rating of how numb their toxins made his "Aquawang." This was where the show finally reconsidered the truth lasso confession finale, and retooled the show to be more responsible children's programming. Did you ever wonder why everyone laughs when Gleek does something stupid and unfunny at the end of the show? It's because they're using the same laughing footage from when Aquaman got teary eyed about his past fish lovers. They replaced the funny part with that stupid fucking monkey slamming his head in a book.