Oooh, the mummy's never tasted anything so good in 2000 years! Well when your insides are vacuumed clean, your dead body is wrapped in toilet paper, and the only thing you've had to eat for two milleniums is tomb maggots, a Twinkie is going to taste pretty fucking good. Glub. That's like when I got out of prison for reckless heat raying and the first thing I did was bone a fat tuna slut. All I did was cry, pull up my pants, and apologize, but take it from me-- at the time I said it was the best sex I'd ever had and I meant it. I think you call it some word like "depravity-enhanced-stimuli" or "relativity" or some shit, but I'm a fish, not a goddamn bookstore manager.
Sweet Christmas! With treats this good, who needs Canada?
Leaving an unkillable mummy with a supply of foods that are known to grant fantastic healing powers is a wise plan. As is giving it a chainsaw and releasing it on a stage where children are performing a play about trees. Forgive Doom's sarcasm; Doom admits the influence of Mr. Fish and these other Hostess reviewing fools. Wait. Doom once held the power of the Beyonder in his hands! What is Doom doing here?
Robin, if you carry a Special Mummy Ray Gun around with you, it had better fucking work on mummies.