Hulk, I think I've figured out why the puny humans are always bothering you. It's because while you're walking around, you're reaching out and destroying things. If you could just calm down, nobody would care. Look at you. Even when you're carrying a little kid on your shoulder, you're just destroying trees for no reason. Constantly. By the time you carry that abandoned kid all the way across the park, he's going to have three or four pounds of tree shrapnel embedded in him. I can manage to keep my arms from smashing into trees while I walk, and I've only been practicing walking for about 30 years. You were like 35 when I watched your show as a kid, spaz.

Mr. Fish:
The Incredible Hulk Changes His Mind! Stay tuned next week for "The Incredible Hulk and Deciding What to Wear!" and The Incredible Hulk in "He Decides on Purple Pants!"

Dr. Doom:
Doom is not tricked! Randomly destroying trees does not complete the illusion of an action story. This advertisement is simply an imbelic behemoth kidnapping a child and feeding strangers. Certainly not the type of fruit drama Doom demands. As boredom overtook Doom during the reading of the adventure, he realized he had absent-mindedly written Doom + Luke Cage 4-Ever on the back of his mighty hand. Doom's secret crushes are without equal!

Luke Cage:
Sweet Christmas, I'm touched!