You'd think Angelina would be upset that most of her girl's lipstick is smeared all over my mouth, but there it is right there.


Students of gang sign language should note that the signals Angelo and I are flashing mean nothing and nothing, respectively.


Here I am at a reggae party where I imagine the guy behind me is telling his friend, "I'm glad we finally found a place with no white peopl-- oh shit look at this giant cracker motherfucker here."




This is the only PG13 shot from the night Johnny and I assembled a makeshift tent in our apartment and declared it Fort Underwear. We later declared it Fort Whose God Damn Hoo Ha Is This!? followed by Fort Who Let The Donkey In Here? and finally Fort I Think This Has Gone Too Far Someone Should Get a Mop.




You're probably wondering how many years I spent eating bugs off the floor of a POW bamboo cage to look this hard, but to be honest, it's really easy to look badass when you're drinking beer through a straw.


To give you an idea of the actual size of Briana, that bracelet she's wearing is the size of two of your Earth hula hoops.




Let this be a warning to musicians everywhere: every time you're not Bon Jovi, I'm going to punch you.
















Gina hates this picture because she totally got caught adoring me.






Hasser exudes so much raw sexuality that everyone within a 10 foot radius of him who isn't wearing a condom becomes immediately 4 months pregnant.




















Between my Muay Thai and Joyce's drunkenness, you should be terrified beyond reason.
























I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties... FOUR THUMBS DOWN!


































































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