"As a ... nerd... I was ecstatic with your NES page"
From: Nicholas Hannon

As an avid video game player (nerd) for the bulk of my life, I was ecstatic with your NES page. I must say that it has done more to better my life than the Secretary of Commerce, the NHL and the nation of Bolivia combined. I had to stop reading it at a couple of points so as not hurt myself laughing, but I certainly resumed later.
If I knew anyone else with such an affinity for video games as myself, I would certainly recommend your page to them. Too bad I don't know anybody like that. Your labor is greatly appreciated, though. Please expand your page to contain new articles and views, the material you have is not only nostalgic but also hysterically funny.

Thank you for reaffirming what I've always said about being more useful than the nation of Bolivia. When one of my staff members forwarded this mail to them, this was their response:

"In regarrds to letter sent from nerd, Nicholas Hannon, Bolivia would lik to point out that Stevebaby's Homage is simply a breeding ground for political unrest and scandalous dumbs. Bolivia has done more for the world with its cultural, musical, and headwear contributions than any american with the brite hair can do. Our nation's Bolitos, the soy/eggplant canned pasta substitute, is one of the Earth's greatest treasures, and makes Bolivia the very best. Also, you suck. Ha.

From: Zach Stroum

I just have to say that reading your NES and MegaMan pages made Finals Week ALOT easier! Me and my roommate practically passed out during some of the better bits. Killer page man!!!

In the area of education, my homepage is continuing to make strides in the community. What was once only used as a stress reducer for testers has grown into so much more - Reading 40 percent or more of this page qualifies you for a degree in management or accounting, and simply staring at the pictures and understanding the general direction in which letters are put together to form "words" qualifies you for your G.E.D.!

UPDATE!!! 3/17/96
Seanbaby's homepage now offers courses in gun repair, cock jokes, and Weapon Proficiency: longsword.

From: Marcus

can't breath
too hard
coughed up

Unfortunately, I had gone on vacation, and didn't receive this mail until it was much too late. The world grieves the loss of Marcus, the smiling laughing friend we lost... too soon. This tribute was brought to you by Gay Johnny vegetables. Enjoy the rich protein filled flavor of Gay Johnny, found only at the finest furniture boutiques. Look for the Gay Johnny-sponsored Marcus tribute album featuring songs by Rick James, Styx, and fabulous diva, Yanni. Make your loss more bearable with Gay Johnny.

"I think your the smartest guy in the world"
From: nemurphy

Wow, your like, my rollmodel. You got a great looking page that makes fun of Christians, a girl friend, and you wear plastic shirts. I think your the smartest guy in the world. Except your American. Which makes you stupid.
Oh well.....

I think this kid's classification of "smartest guy in the world" is anyone who can cross the street without being injured. However, despite his lack of credibility, I am a whore, and his testimonial will be used in my report, "Why Seanbaby is Number One." Most of the other glowing testimonials will be from state prisoners in exchange for the promise of an early release I can in no way ever grant.

"I need help."
From: Jodi Lew
Bubble Bobble

I love your homepage a lot. I need help. I'm starting fresh with this game and I was wondering what the keyboard keys (Nesticle version not MAME version) for player two are.
Thanks for your time!!!
Honolulu, Hawaii

I spent all night trying to help this contender for "smartest person in the world." However, I discovered I was unable to read the directions for the game as I'd forgotten I was Portuguese and even mildly retarded. The next step in my problem solving approach was to hit each "button" until the second player did something. While I hit certain "letters", the creature on the magic box moved, but other "keys" sometimes did nothing at all! I knew I would never decode the answer on my own, so I tracked down the rudest dickhead I could find, and sent him an email for help. He told me to fuck off, and now my little brother may not play the games with me.

"the world is full of idiots"
From: TankMH@aol.com
lamer faggot

Got you, didn't I? Hah! You probably thought that I was one of those assholes, right? The kind that don't understand what sarcasm is. Or maybe I just made an idiot of myself. Either way, I enjoy the pages you set up simply to ridicule the state of the world today. Whether it be how comic books have sort of slaked off in the..good department, or how the world is full of idiots, it's usually eloquently worded and concise, and still funny enough to make me fall out of my chair. I'd say kudos, but that would be cliche. So, let's try.."Thank you. More than you could possibly imagine. Thank you for putting the slightest hint of sanity into this world, no matter how small it may be. Thank you."
Yes. That'll work.

WARNING: the response you are about to read was written by staff member, Skykid, and is the funniest thing ever written:

"Hi! Because everyone is falling out of their chairs when they read this page, we want to offer this warning: LOOK OUT! YOU ARE FALLING! Giggle! Goodbye!"

Editor's comment on photo:
Oh... my god.
From: defaultuser@domain.com
i didn't like your homepage

your page really sucked..you must think your funny

Using all the detective skills I learned from TV's Burt Ward, I couldn't track down this person to send my rebuttal of "Fuck you, your the sucky one!" However, I did manage to piece together this picture of him from police sketches and speculation. The FBI is seeking more information on this man they call "Shitbrain," and there is little to no reward for any information that would lead to a slap on the back of his asslike head.

"Samurai's sweaty, naked drape-covered body"
From: zack soto

Hey Seanbaby,
Your site wipes the sweat from Chris Rock's balls. I think that's a good thing. The first thing I burst out laughing at was the Super Friends page. This probably has the most fucking funny shit per square inch of your whole kit & kablooey. It's far too easy to pick on Aquaman, but at least you pick on Gorrilla Grodd & Samurai's sweaty, naked drape-covered body too.
I still haven't gotten through the whole of your website, but after spending a couple hours shooting Faygo Peach through my nose and rubbing my crotch, I thought I'd go to sleep. Instead, I got on the internet and found your monument to pain. Almost every page made me laugh out loud, though the 20 Worst NES Games series was painful after a while. Personally, I think you are wasting your talents by not dedicating a whole page to Salma Hayek. You know you want to, just stop holding back and tap into your super powers of web design for the sake of good one more time! Aiko and Yuka, the girls in my closet say hi.

Taking your advice, I have created a tribute to the charming and delightful actress, Salma Hayek. Here you can see her touching Desperado love scene with hunky Spanish star, Antonio Banderas, only now with a wacky twist! Using the same stick on word balloons that make's your mom's photo album so rib-tickling, I've transformed this mere wank material into a wild combination of sex and hilarity! You can do it too, all it takes is a picture, some stick-on balloons, and a serious fucking birth defect!

"your prose style made coffee come out of my nose"
From: Jack Lyons

I am a Webmaster by trade and a computer geek in my off hours. Years of this sort of thing has left me utterly jaded about nearly everything on the web. I just wanted to let you know that your web site and in particular your prose style made coffee come out my nose more than once. Good work, keep it up.
Reverend Jack Lyons

Someone with the name Jack Lyons should not be telling me how cool I am. He should be boxing his way through kicking, slashing kung fu robots as Earth's last hope against a ressurected supernatural threat. He should be making wisecracks and winning the heart of an adamantly independent yet laughingly unresourceful female reporter and meeting up with a group of unlovable kids during their wild adventures through time! There's no hole deep enough for these ne'erdowells to hide from Reverend JACK LYONS, man of tomorrow, today!!!!

From: Saiyan231@aol.com

hello your site is funny. " It took a hold bottle of litter fluid" me and my friend tought that was hilarous.

I don't remember ever saying "it took a hold bottle of litter fluid," but now I wish I had, because it's way cooler than anything I've ever written. I just wish I knew what it meant. More importantly, though, I want to know why 230 other people took the name Saiyan before Saiyan231 could.

"I REALLY believe in you!"
From: Angel Crystal
Hello! Email me!

Hee hee! Hello!
Yay! I had to email you again! That's me! I visited your page again and wanted to write on your guestbook, but for some reason, it wouldn't let me in! I'm so sowwie! Anyway, I visited your Megaman section today and it was really funny. I'm Gemini (my horoscope sign) and I liked that you didn't insult it, but praised it by saying "If you don't shoot it, you can play with G all night!". Thanks! I did laugh at Hardman's section until you said "that's if you didn't waste it all (the lube gun) with Gemini. I said hey!!! Hee hee! But it's really funny. I REALLY didn't look at hardman's custume that way. To me it looked more like a tool hard hat men use. And the Hardman Drillman thing was very gute. Speaking of cute, I LOVE how you did Seanbabe Man. With his charming eyes and his stylish costume. No wonder he's so mysterious. He really does look like you! I love the cool comments (actually VERY intelligent comments) about the robots powers (if leaves from woodman can hurt Megaman I fear what roses will do!). I also visited your 'about me' page. Now you may think no one cares....and even I know most people don't but I DO care! I'm glad you love art and writing. I love to write too! And yes, I also started at an early age. I loved to read the literature books from school. So please be bright and keep up the awesome work. By the way, you drawings are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOL! Comic book quality, no doubt. The only difference between us is that I draw anime style! Well, I have to go, but I'll write more soon! Remember that of all the people in the world, I REALLY believe in you!
Take care!

This future test subject for psychology students sent me similar giggle filled novels at the rate of about 5 a day for weeks. Each one scrolled for screens proclaiming how much he believes in me and how much we have in common. I spent nearly $30,000 on alarm systems, weapons, bodyguards, and armor. I no longer sleep with my eyes open, fearing of Angel Crystal's obsessive hero worship. I owe Angel two things, though - a heartwarming romance with my hunky bodyguard, and my new understanding of the line that exists between flattery and scaring the shit out of.

"your funny"
From: Dingo

Oh i sing thy mighty praises thou art the most evil pople hating asshole in the world...And your funny. What are you going to college to be. If it caused you to be this damn cool then sign me up baby.

I went to college to study art. But I don't think you'll like most art majors. They spend most of their time giving pointless speeches filled with self aggrandizing bullshit while they pretend to have an education.... oh my god. I just described my entire life... what a theraputic breakthrough. Thank you Dingo, for helping me realize who I really am!

"Hella... hella... hella"
From: PLayEzHatR@aol.com
Hella funny shit man

Your web sites got some hella funny shit about the super friends. keep up the good work. I'd also like to see you do a voltron or transformers web site. that would be some hella funny shit.

A hella number of annoying kids really tried to get that damn "hella" word to catch on. When this kid uses it, it doesn't bug me, though, because his uppercase/lowercase vanity license plate-like name is hella sweet. Peace out, hella dude.