File 06
File 05
File 04
File 03
File 02
File 01
File Name: Bobby Stampface
Primary Military Speciality: A Mystery
Secondary Military Speciality: Irrational Hate

Letterhead's most at home in his deep underground bunker and is an expert of making a fool of himself with a typewriter. Some of his squadmates say that he can humiliate himself when completely unarmed or even locked within full restraints.




File Name: Unknown
Primary Military Speciality: Humiliation
Secondary Military Speciality: Rollerskating

Lazerbook was once a top agent, but after losing his depth perception in a firefight with terrorists, he was demoted to Tour Guide of the base's latrine ditches.



File Name: Busty McBoob
Primary Military Speciality: T
Secondary Military Speciality: A

Lady Hottie has little military training but is a master of taking off her shirt and washing the car. She also enjoys caressing her own breasts and slowly stretching.



File Name: (CLASSIFIED)
Primary Military Speciality: Illustration
Secondary Military Speciality: Insanity

EraserWedge specializes in making caricatures of officers and has extensive training in drawing pictures of them slamming their giant penises through the heads of video game characters. EraserWedge also enjoys songwriting and making video games based on his own madness.



File Name: Brother Tard
Primary Military Speciality: Witnessing
Secondary Military Speciality: Divine Radio Operator

Godjob leads a team of expert worshippers in a mission to save our spirituality. It's said that he has a collection of old meat that looks like the virgin Mary and many decorative Easter eggs that look like celebrities, but no one has seen proof of this and lived.



File Name: Don Knotts
Primary Military Speciality: Credibility
Secondary Military Speciality: Ego Wank

NameDrop has a small staff of people whose only job is finding his hair and skin the proper conditioners. He refuses to engage in military conflict until given a special coffee you can only get from skinning children alive.
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