"I wish I was like super man so I can fly and rescue pleople"
From: Rodolfo Herrera
love to watch super friends

Hi! I am Eduardo Fajardo I am 6 years old. I live in bloomington,Illinois and I have a 4 year old sister. and I like to watch the super friends cartoons. I wish I was like super man so I can fly and rescue pleople. I love every one in the super friend very, very, very, much.
Sencirly: Eduardo Fajardo

This kid is only 6, and he's already 20 times cooler than me. That makes him approximately 400 times cooler than you.

From: Chris Kohler

Dear Seanbaby,
Your page has only improved with time. You are a sick bastard. Etcetera. Your homepage brightens up my day. It excites me. In the pants.

VRRROOOOM! Stevie is the fastest four wheeler in the county!!! He's here to make our dreams come true!!!

"Seanbaby... one good GOD HAVE MERCY, Damn handsome man."
From: TheMortis
{Seanbaby} Congrauration, Your a Winner!

Seanbaby, my idol, and paragon of virtue. Not to mention one good GOD HAVE MERCY, Damn handsome man. Well, anyway I thought for making the most entertaining website since they shut down donkeyporn.com, I would bestow a gift upon you. Now of course I have no website, so you can just link this to good old Donkeyporn.com, just for old time's sake. But here is your broken English award of the day, all the way from the NES.

Congrauration Seanbaby. Your a winner.

This box is red because I am blushing. I am also beaming at myself in the mirror and alluringly agreeing with you. You have excellent taste in web page makers, and receive a full 16 princess points, the highest achievement Seanbaby's Homepage can award in a time of peace.

"The New York Times magazine spoke of men's transition over the years from boastful to jokey... you are decades ahead"
From: Amos Moore
male fan

i used to have a nes page. it was considered the best by some. it had zany (as in a hybrid of watersports and Megaman characters) trivia games. it had the biggest nes chat room and message board, as well as the longest collection of links. i made sure to make all the links exactly 5 inches long so as not to intimidate anyone. hell, some of those links intimidated me.

this page was called nes nation, and it is now only a legend whipered by those who were inspired by it (especially modest glance). i ceased to work on NES Nation, on this site that had at least seven people in the chat room each day and received the same number of messages each day. "what am i doing?" i thought. and then it dawned on me. i was typing at a computer, slowly becoming an addict to...it's hard to say now...niccotine.

"where is all this going, and why am i reading this?" you might ask. then again, you would likely conceive of a more clever way of saying it. There was an article in a recent issue of The New York Times magazine. Indeed. It spoke of men's (in general) transition over the years from boastful to jokey. while it appears i am in the more primitive category, you are decades ahead. i too have an infatuation with Gary Coleman, Dustin Diamond, Bronson Pinchot, and Face. Moreover, however, I love the tunes of Goonies II, the puzzles of Shadowgate, the tragically foreshadowing Family Feud. From a narcissistic hedonistic misanthrope, one who thought his page would never find an equal (it was deleted in the hands of another, incidentally), i offer you this complement: i found your page phenomenally entertaining and well designed. take care,

It's unnecessary to send your credentials, life history, and/or resume in order to give extra justification to your messages. I ignore suggestions and comments equally whether they are badly spelled ravings or pretentious collections of rarely used big words. However, you did mention Gary Coleman and an A-Team member, so I take your words more seriously than most. And now to prove New York Times' theory wrong, I have the hugest cock you've ever seen. Seriously.

From: OPalSpiT
20 worst nes games

Im being frankly honest with you when i say this, i have never laughed so hard in my entire life. I have played just about all those games and everything you said about them was true and absolutley hilarious. Nice NES page too.

Due to the fact that I can't come up with anything funny to say to mails like this, I have contracted Captain Toot and the Zoom Legion to respond:

What a nice note! We've got a rap song about it! It's time to rock the house! Let's do it, gang! [Editor's note: song thankfully deleted]

"it's all great shit man"
From: Andrew Keith

This is without a doubt one of the funniest things i've ever seen on the internet. I was astounded that a web page actually could be funny in more than one column. The NES page, the hilarious super hero quiz, it's all great shit man. I feel sorry for you having to wade through flak mail from angry christians. Although their mail is pretty fucking funny in itself.

The reason Seanbaby's Homepage is funny in more than one column is because it's put together by a large staff, or "super-team", of comedy writers, including the acclaimed humorists from Diff'rent Strokes, In Living Color, and Full House. Seanbaby is not really a person, but a dynamic concept for young people to try to live up to.

Because this message did not deserve to be shown next to a picture of Torrie, I have decided instead to display this picture of George and Weezy Jefferson.
"Blah blah blah blah blah [paraphrased]"
From: Not Telling! (ikilledkenny25@hotmail.com)
Hot Sauce.

Whilst bitterly complaining about the lack of style to be found amongst kids today, I showed your page to a certain mutant friend of mine. He payed you the highest compliment he has. " Hot Sauce," he remarked, although this could have been in reference to the Thai Curry he was eating. After telling him that he has a face like a smacked arse and therefore should get less curry puffs than me ( the world's prettiest non-gay bartender, which puts me somewhere in the middle ) we discussed the merits of Nintendo games blood sport, cheesy but damn good movies, coloured hair and spandex. Although we were a bit pissed at fist of the north star being included in the twenty worst nintendo games of all time. Never having played the game but seen the movie we were not quite sure what to think. I mean they made a real version of it, and quite frankly, I think people who make movies of manga movies should be beaten. Preferably in Singapore.
But we concluded that manga movies should be left alone, and that yes, perhaps the game did suck.
Discussing your fashion sense we were both interested to know if you've heard of the new clothes sony are developing. They change colour, emit light, are waterproof and do all sorts of funky things. I've been told they're kind of like the thermoptics in Ghost in the hell only they don't make you invisible. So I imagine they're right up your alley.
Anyway, I'm well ripped, so I'm off to eat something and possibly watch Evangelion. That or go to Kung Fu, whichever appeals more at the time.
Anyway, I'd be pleased if you'd use the word Hot Sauce occasionally to describe something funky. And by the way, I had one of those crackling lolly things. Cool, but kind of a let down. I expected much stronger cracks. And I fully intened to feed a friend three or four packets and give him a doctor pepper. Hopefully it will only shatter his teeth and not kill him. That way I can laugh at him to greater effect.
- The Wild Martian. Stilll moaning aboutfucking hotmail icompetence.
P.S. check out the new Black panther and Inhumans series. Their fucking amazing. The scene with Mephisto and the secret agent was worth the price alone.
P.P.S. In a bottle wey!

SAGA: This person not only felt it his duty to describe his every hobby and activity to me, but his internet alias, ikilledkenny25, is the 25th most clever name ever (right behind ikilledkenny 1 through 24, of course). After sending dozens of uninteresting mails like this to me, he spread like a festering disease into the guestbook. I started deleting his innane messages, imagining the rest of the page's readers could care less about the television watching exploits of this especially dull one. This led to each of his immediately deleted postings to be more incoherent and irate. I sent my staff on a special mission to see if this was an ikilledkenny-related psychosis, and they sent friendly mails to the 24 people who beat him to the name. Of them, only ikilledkenny 7, 16, 21, and 19 replied, who, like their 25th member, also appear to be mildly retarded.
Below are actual messages I receieved from this elite group:

From: ikilledkenny7 aka "Alexius!!"
"alias?? what is that?? I don't even think I have a web page. Are you sure you want me??"

From: ikilledkenny21 aka "ikilled kenny"
"hey this is I killed Kenny 21. How old are you? What sex are you? What school do you go to? What is your name? Please reply and if you answer my questions I will answer yours. sorry that I have not replyed in so long but my schedual is very tight. well c-ya."

From: ikilledkenny16 aka "Mike McCormick"
"how did you find my name in the white pages and tell me a little more about yourself i am a 17 year old male that is very hot"