Because this message did not deserve to be shown next to a picture of Torrie, I have decided instead to display this picture of George and Weezy Jefferson.
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"Blah blah blah blah blah [paraphrased]"
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From: Not Telling! (ikilledkenny25@hotmail.com)
Hot Sauce.
Whilst bitterly complaining about the lack of style to be found amongst
kids today, I showed your page to a certain mutant friend of mine. He
payed you the highest compliment he has. " Hot Sauce," he remarked,
although this could have been in reference to the Thai Curry he was
eating. After telling him that he has a face like a smacked arse and
therefore should get less curry puffs than me ( the world's prettiest
non-gay bartender, which puts me somewhere in the middle ) we discussed
the merits of Nintendo games blood sport, cheesy but damn good movies,
coloured hair and spandex. Although we were a bit pissed at fist of the
north star being included in the twenty worst nintendo games of all
time. Never having played the game but seen the movie we were not quite
sure what to think. I mean they made a real version of it, and quite
frankly, I think people who make movies of manga movies should be
beaten. Preferably in Singapore.
But we concluded that manga movies should be left alone, and that yes,
perhaps the game did suck.
Discussing your fashion sense we were both interested to know if you've
heard of the new clothes sony are developing. They change colour, emit
light, are waterproof and do all sorts of funky things. I've been told
they're kind of like the thermoptics in Ghost in the hell only they
don't make you invisible. So I imagine they're right up your alley.
Anyway, I'm well ripped, so I'm off to eat something and possibly watch
Evangelion. That or go to Kung Fu, whichever appeals more at the time.
Anyway, I'd be pleased if you'd use the word Hot Sauce occasionally to
describe something funky. And by the way, I had one of those crackling
lolly things. Cool, but kind of a let down. I expected much stronger
cracks. And I fully intened to feed a friend three or four packets and
give him a doctor pepper. Hopefully it will only shatter his teeth and
not kill him. That way I can laugh at him to greater effect.
- The Wild Martian. Stilll moaning aboutfucking hotmail icompetence.
P.S. check out the new Black panther and Inhumans series. Their fucking
amazing. The scene with Mephisto and the secret agent was worth the
price alone.
P.P.S. In a bottle wey!
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SAGA: This person not only felt it his duty to describe his every hobby and activity to me, but his internet alias, ikilledkenny25, is the 25th most clever name ever (right behind ikilledkenny 1 through 24, of course). After sending dozens of uninteresting mails like this to me, he spread like a festering disease into the guestbook. I started deleting his innane messages, imagining the rest of the page's readers could care less about the television watching exploits of this especially dull one. This led to each of his immediately deleted postings to be more incoherent and irate. I sent my staff on a special mission to see if this was an ikilledkenny-related psychosis, and they sent friendly mails to the 24 people who beat him to the name. Of them, only ikilledkenny 7, 16, 21, and 19 replied, who, like their 25th member, also appear to be mildly retarded.
Below are actual messages I receieved from this elite group:
From: ikilledkenny7 aka "Alexius!!"
"alias?? what is that?? I don't even think I have a web page. Are you sure you want me??"
From: ikilledkenny21 aka "ikilled kenny"
"hey this is I killed Kenny 21. How old are you? What sex are you?
What school do you go to? What is your name? Please reply and if you answer
my questions I will answer yours. sorry that I have not replyed in so long
but my schedual is very tight. well c-ya."
From: ikilledkenny16 aka "Mike McCormick"
"how did you find my name in the white pages and tell me a little more about
yourself i am a 17 year old male that is very hot"
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