In another interview, Robert told them that "Money Makes the World Go Around" sounded like they were begging for money, and MUSIGN agreed which led to an amazing conversation about how people almost killed them by donating high speed projectiles. And thanks to the magic of close captioning, their hilarious dialogue is built right into the screenshots. I swear I didn't edit or mess with this in any way:

MUSIGN, I hope you aren't so deaf that you're unable to read this because they weren't throwing coins as donations. They were throwing coins at you because they'd been booing for 10 minutes and you couldn't fucking hear them. You're lucky you weren't performing near a place that had access to eggs or hand grenades.

Click here to watch some of "Friends."
Their final number is an emotional disaster of a song called "Friends." All four of them come out, hug, and take turns doing sign language solos (right). They suffer the same problem as they do in all their songs, both robot and otherwise-- their lips and dancing don't usually match the pre-recorded music. It was here I noticed that when they start missing by too much, they somehow find their way back in synch. That means that they're either the luckiest deaf people in the world, or one or more of them is cheating and can actually hear. Another explanation is that someone is off camera firing a fake laser gun or holding up cue cards to keep them on rhythm. I quickly dismissed this theory as impossible. If there was a hearing-able person controlling everything, they wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to replace the music with a porno soundtrack. Can you imagine how funny it would be if a group of deaf people were unknowingly sign languaging about friendship while the background music was, "UNHH! TAKE THAT BIG BLACK COCK AND GET ME FROM BEHIND! I'M YOUR DOUBLE-STUFFED SLUT!"

Here: I'll show you.

Here's a fun fact I learned about the hearing impaired. The sign for "old" (above) is the same gesture we hearing people use to indicate that "someone has a big dick in their mouth." It's up to you and science to find useful applications for this.
Absoludicrous Rating: 4/5
MUSIGN helps bring music to the hearing impaired, which is an insane way of saying that they don't really do anything at all. Deaf people shouldn't want music. Without audio, musical theatre is just mimes and bad poetry. And it doesn't matter what you've done, you don't deserve that. If being handicapped is a wound, MUSIGN is like rubbing a painful and very gay salt into it.

People will flip off strangers in traffic for not using their turn signal. If someone cuts in line at the grocery store, a stranger can legally call them a piece of shit. However, these same strangers will go out of their way to talk about how transcendant and inspirational MUSIGN is, a much more horrible crime than cutting in line or being a bad driver. I'm all for being polite to people when they can't help what's wrong with them, but MUSIGN pushes that bullshit too far. Just because they can't hear doesn't mean we should all shut up when they're making fools of themselves. It's just going to encourage blind people to put out a painting video, or legless people to put out a video about kickboxing which now that I think about it would be totally sweet.

It's a complete mystery how these people struggle against common sense and flying quarters to be such devout music enthusiasts. It's the one thing they don't have a chance at enjoying. You'd think deaf performers would focus on non audio-related talents like plate spinning or motorcycle jumping. Shit, there are jobs where being deaf would help you. I'm sure clowns wish they didn't have ears when they get blasted out of cannons, and I bet harvesting sperm by manually masturbating animals would be a lot easier if you didn't have to hear their bleats of passion and confusion.

The fact that everyone involved in it have lots of things wrong with them means that it's educational which means you might be able to find it at your local library. Honestly, if six handicapped people got together, wheeled around lip-synching old Diff'rent Strokes episodes setting bags of shit on fire someone would praise it as brilliant.

If you just really hate yourself you can purchase MUSIGN tapes for $39.95 here.
It's pretty clear from how well they talk that they weren't always deaf, and are doing this because they have fond memories of music. But listen: I have fond memories of a girl I used to sex up at summer camp, but if you cut my penis off tomorrow I wouldn't relive those memories by finding three other dickless people, going on the Castrated Network, pretending to hump her, then miming that I was a robot, then pretending to hump her again. And if I change my mind, please don't call it art. Shoot at me, and shoot to kill.


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