Seanbaby Guestbook - Stupid Messages

From: Stephen Tramer

Age: 17

Homepage: http://www.futureone.com/~maxl/
02-Jul-99 05:32 PM

This page is fucking cool. But, unfortunately, I'm only signing this probably overpopulated guestbook to plug my incredibly unfished web page. I mean, can you say anything of ANY REVELANCE at all in a goddamned bitch guestbook?

You could at least try, you fucking idiot.

From: learner

Age: 16

Homepage: http://www.blacknwhite.net
15-Jul-99 09:36 PM

Your page has cured my bouts of chronic masturbation! Huzzah!

This may be the kind of joke that takes a few hours to get, but I promise you tonight when you think back on the dipshit that used masturbation in a sentence, you'll be laughing so hard you'll... you'll.. MASTURBATE!

From: Slappy
10-Aug-99 09:16 PM

Made the mistake of playing on Seanbaby site, and drinking heavily one night. When I woke up from my pool of spittle this was on the screen. I think I typed it.... I'm going to blame it all on the squirrels. Damn Squirrels! Spawn of Satan! Little fuzzy bastards. What a fucked up life they have. When it's warm they spend all their time gathering food for when it's cold. When it's cold they hibernate and eat the food they spent all spring/summer/fall collecting. When it gets warm they start all over again. Wouldn't you go fucking nuts if you were a squirrel? And what's with them always running from here to there. Can't they fucking walk? Have you ever seen a squirrel amble, or mosey for that matter? Don't they like cowboys? Everybody likes cowboys, but not squirrels! That tells you right there that there is something wrong with them. And why are they always so nervous? They are so paranoid, like everyone is after them. They probably are thinking "Everyone wants to kill me. So I gotsta haul ass from this tree to that tree. And if I find a fucking nut on the way, I might slow down enough to pick it up." What the hell would a bald squirrel look like? What would they do if you naired them? Probably be even more paranoid then usually. I wish I could jump from tree branch to tree branch. I'd be like a big fat spiderman, except only in a forest. And I wouldn't have webs coming out of my palms. What the fuck would I have? Probably gravy or something like that. Thick gravy. What the fuck kind of superhero is that? "Gravy-boy" That's what they could call me. "Comes to the rescue of dry food everywhere!" I don't think any kids would buy a comicbook based on the adventures of "Gravyboy". Hmm, maybe the fat ones. But only the fat ones. And they would only buy "Adventures of Gravyboy" because it would cost less money. They'd have more money for Baby Ruth's and ding dongs. I can just see it. Freddy Fatty sitting on the sidewalk reading "Gravyboy" while eating a whole damn box of ding dongs. Then going home and eats pudding pops 'til he pukes. Quotes to live by:
"Don't sweat petty things, and don't pet sweaty things"
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines".

From: Uber Phycho

Age: 17

Homepage: http://uberphycho.8m.com
20-Jul-99 11:17 AM

Really impressive site there. Some great ideas and as for the s. Top quality. I will visit again!

I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but I'm sure I wouldn't care even if I did.

From: Lord Duke

Age: Matured.

Homepage: http://www.duxpond.com
30-Jul-99 01:40 AM

Sir seanbaby,
This page is full of content in which I find highly offensive and vulgarly/abusively oriented to the minds of certain viewers. If you have a fued with myself or my thoughts, please reply. I wish to speak with you.
-D. Hamann

Dearest Dr. matured Lord Duke,
You can might be getting an mail from me soon so we can in debate of this highgly congroverseal page of to which the owner does be me. You may highly seem very filled with geniousious intteligence so fueding with you would be dangerous. A mail will be transfired to you as a recipiant since i always seek pleasing for all visiters even if much more smartness contained within them.

From: Me being silly

Homepage: www.10k4wife.com
30-Jul-99 09:01 PM

On your dumbass page, (showing everyone has been a space cadet at one point or another) are you trying to wink at me or something? And were you ever really that much like alienboy?

Seriously, when you people are this high, don't waste it. You should be doing something more stimulating than writing me questions in the guestbook. Maybe I'm misinterpreting and you're just an idiot. If you are, sorry for telling everyone you did drugs.

From: The Preaching Puppet

Homepage: http://companyoflove.org/
30-Jul-99 09:21 PM

I like to teach kids about God with puppets, it keeps their simple, sheep like, minds from drifting off and thinking for themselves. About such unholy things as female empowerment, music, and Colored people (negroes).

It's genius satire like this that makes my page look less lame. Thanks, puppet.

	mike
	18

	Seanbaby---- I go to east high and saw your web page!! That was pretty cool you'll piss off a lot of the teachers here but who cares!!! mike

"I care. After all the love given to me by my teachers, I wish I could give more back to them. I owe them my complete distrust of adults and my fetish for disciplinary paddling. Did you know that I never went to east high? In fact, I don't even know where it is or why you mentioned it! I live on Pine Street! Bye!"

From: King Bahamut Gidorah

Age: 17
07-Aug-99 05:31 AM

I hope you get more mail from them hilarious BROTHERS OF THE INTERNET. Seeing you verbally abuse them makes me laugh. Hard. I mean, it´s pretty funny since they all seem to have a really nice grasp of the real world outside of their incestual church - demanding people to put up "holy symbols" on their pages. I wonder how well their work for the old fart is going on pages such as www.donkeyporn.com or www.rapesex.com. May you forever diss them. And may the force be with you. And may divorce be with you. And there was much rejoicing. And i have nothing more to write... damn... You rock... but fuck you know that already... now go give Aquaman a sponge-bath.

Greg's Home On The Web
You can find out a little about me and what I like. Also, I have some hot pictures of the types of guys that turn me on.
Hell, everyone else has a vanity home page so I figured I have to have one also well or be out of step.

Buns of steal, meet my dick of steal!

From: DarkSpam

Age: 15

Homepage: http://travel.to/jiffy66
12-Aug-99 10:50 PM

I had been at a page about commercials and nostalgic things about the NES, (yes, I DID experience the NES age) and I just happened to see a link to a page called "Seanbaby's NES page". At first seeing the link, I wondered what kind of person would have a nickname such as 'seanbaby', amazingly combining their first name and another word...ok, so darkspam isn't the greatest alias either. Anyway, I went to the link and found some really nifty NES pages that I thought were funny and well done. Then, I realized there was more to the page, showing all the antics of this interesting person who calls himself 'seanbaby'. But since this entry is getting too long anyways, I'd just like to say I've really enjoyed reading your page. That's all.

Wow. It sounds like you have had a very fascinating day. Thank you for sharing it with all of us! Today, I came to work and had a Coke for breakfast. Yesterday I had a Cherry Coke, but today it was just a regular Coke. After halfway through, I sort of wondered who thought of putting cherries in it! Anyway, it was a pretty good day at work and then some kid wrote something really dumb in the guestbook. C-YA!

From: Rufus

Age: 16

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/1411
14-Aug-99 06:51 PM

Seanbaby, you're smarter than me right? Can you please explain why Dolemite's really long rhyming stories about monkeys make so many people laugh? And why did he pull that other pimp's stomach out? Guess it's 'cause he was an insecure-born, rat soup eathing, jock-jawed, motherfucker...

Yes, I'm smarter than you. Of course, if someone has to explain how Dolemite is funny to you, so is my fucking lunch.

From: Fault Malt Refund

Age: 19

Homepage: http://www.cloud9.net/~fault
23-Aug-99 01:16 PM

Holy fuck this site is good. I don't know exactly what it does.. you know, community wise.. but.. fuck that. Nice work.

Community wise? It's a fucking home page, it doesn't walk old ladies across the street, you god damn crazy.

From: clint bowden

Age: 27
21-Aug-99 11:45 PM

Love the web site. You have my favorite game as wall paper. I have been playing for 11 years now and I never get tired of this system. It has brought me much joy to play it for hours and hours. There is only a few systems that I play any more..The game boy, the SNES and the NES. I have an N64, but gave it to my brother. I am thankful for funco land for carrying used games. Without them, I'd be lost.

One time I went downtown and went into an arcade. I played and played and very much enjoyed all of the joy I received from playing the various arcade games. Sometimes when no one is looking, I put my ass on them and pretend they are massaging it. I love you very much, and you are very special to me.

From: Kortrah

Age: 16

Homepage: http://publish.hometown.aol.com/qp/qp.adp?time=933714396&prompt=index
29-Aug-99 08:27 AM

Well, what is there to say? You have, by far, THE COOLEST WEBSITE I HAVE EVER SEEN. From your hostess pie page to your retro video game page, it was good to the last drop. Or something like that. IF YA SMELLLLLLLLL WHAT THE RICK...IS COOKIN'. ~_ oo

Someday I dream of finishing a note before the person who writes it makes a fool of themselves.

From: Jason (or Dr. Booty)

Age: 18

Homepage: http://fly.to/finn34/
04-Sep-99 01:21 AM

Horhea : hey seanbaby! I much enjoy page of stuff that you writing , yes? There is much time when penis is in the air , but hand is empty of ... you make knowing , favorites?

GayBob69@planetgay.com : i started reading your page on the NES after my friend searched for midget wrestling porn... It excited me so much that now every weekend we sit around , topless in leather chaps , searching for "midgfuk.mpg" ... i don't really think that has anything to do with your site... but I swear I'm not gay...really...seriously...uh...

and lastly

Jason : Yes , christians are rather dumb , ain't they'se? But the thing that impresses me is you'se guys's constant funny-making... it amuses me much

Horhea: your name sounds like something I used to catch all the time in college that turned bathroom trips into what I called "Vietnam Torture Time." My response to your comments, of course, is "Shut the fuck up."

GayBob69@planetgay.com: I can tell you're not a homosexual. All that's coming out of your mouth is nonsense. If you were actually gay, it would be hot sperm and nonsense.

Jason: You don't need to type out your speech impediments.

From: James

Age: 17
17-Sep-99 04:13 PM

hahaha, funny site, especially the megaman part... yo, I agree, River City Ransom was awesome, but, I seroiusly used to like Deadly Towers - I liked it a lot. How can that be the worst game ever? There must be something worse than that... nice site, I'll come back

I thought I'd already explained how it was the worst game. That's what the article you were reading was about.

From: Lizzie

Age: 28 (yes, 28)
15-Sep-99 06:10 PM

...got into a huge screaming fight with my roommate tonight on if Spiderman was or was not included in the Halls of Justice summits or not. I was sure he showed up every once in a while, just like the Incredible Hulk. I asked Jeeves about it and he pointed me here. Very funny stuff, I must say. Anyway, guess I owe Mark a beer. No word about Spidy in your Superfriends pages. Oh well. Take care, kids.

I know it's just a bunch of cartoon crap, but you have a pretty embarrassing lack of knowledge. Don't scream at your friend; you're really really wrong. That's like insisting that Mad Max fought the Time Bandits. Yeah, it would be really cool to see Mel Gibson beat the shit out of some midgets, but characters don't usually leap out of one show and into another. If they did, everybody would run to Labyrinth to toss babies at Bowie and kick the heads off of muppets.

From: Keylime
14-Sep-99 09:53 PM

I'm just wondering, do you find it extraordinarily exasperating to keep on replying to the same type of lame ass guestbook entries? I mean some of these posts are so unfunny, that they hurt my head reading them. What is your motivation to keep on replying? Plus, cool site, funny AND educational (for 80's cartoon lore).

What's my motivation for doing any of this? The guestbook is just a way for the site to have a limited interaction with the public; it's not my fault you're all uninteresting idiots.

From: SecurityGuard

Age: one million, two thousand elevendy

Homepage: http://www.angelfire.com/nc2/everquest911
27-Sep-99 06:12 PM

NES page is the best, I owned one of those things and acctually plunked down around 400$ worth of shit for that crappy system. How times have changed. Oh yea, the rest of the site was...super. Stupid section was nifty keen. see...im special. I can use HTML :D I can't make this damn guestbook entry any boringer (that even a word? boringer? Borin'er? Argh), so...eh.... ....

Okay. This is the dumbest thing I've ever read. Maybe I should include a "Handicapped?" yes and no check box on the guestbook form to know how far I should go in making fun of messages like this. And I feel like such a personality nazi when I just delete these things.

From: John

Age: 19
27-Sep-99 11:28 AM

Filling through this guestbook I found that Sean likes to poke fun at its entrys. I have tried to make this as un-poke-funable as possible, here goes. Are your eyes _really_ blue? Seems like contacts. If so, how about a pic of you with glasses? Also, judging from your writings, I deduct that you are the yongest child in your family, or perhaps an only child. Am I right? My last question is harder. Me and my friends couldnt anwser it. Which is better, peanut butter, or jelly? Oh, and I stole lots of the pictures off your page and used them for mine. Hope you understand.

If you're trying to not get made fun of, and this is the best you could do, I have some advice for you - do not "deduct" anything ever again. You were wrong on both brilliant theories, and shouldn't trust what your intelligence says. Don't worry about it, though; a lot of people are kind of dumb. You can still be successful and productive.

	Seul
	Gay Bashing: the Silent Killer
	16
	Stupid
	Guestbook entries are always stupid. May I have your girlfriend?

"Not all guestbook entries are stupid. Like yours, for instance, is full of interesting and fun things."

From: Eimi, the lame Canadian chick.

Age: 19

Homepage: http://www.eviloverlord.com
07-Oct-99 03:15 AM

Well, I thought that your 250th guestbook response needed something special.
So here's Canada's best karate's mascot, Ryker, freshly retired from his stint as the lesbian-humping dog at www.fagwatch.com, which was shut down due to a law against making a webpage while lacking more than 3 chromosomes.
Says Ryker: "I just came in and fucked the bitch while the rednecks took pictures and mumbled something about pigs...now some retarded Canadians feed me to lie around and maul children. It's a living."*

* - The author of this post made all that up. Dogs don't talk, dumbass.

Fighting the fags since 1994

The Seanbaby School of Comedy - now you and your friends can be just like me!!!!

1) First, begin with clumsy references to things that are funny when other people talk about them - Canada, Retards, Fags, maybe a BUTT!

2) Next, add a quote from an unlikely source. A dog, a turtle, even baby Jesus! As long as it's kooky, try anything! Just go for it!

3) The quote should be WACKY or at least ironic. If you're working from scratch, repeat step one.

4) Parenthetical statements (necessary if you want to be really pretentious) should be moved below and changed to footnotes*.

* like this! Ribticklers every time!

Now add a picture, and you're funny! If you follow these directions, you should be me within a week! Good luck!

From: Lørd Adam

Age: 21

Homepage: http://cochise.uia.net/lordadam/SharonApple
15-Oct-99 04:56 PM

Miki learned the hard way that snorting coke wasn't really as exciting as her friends had told her it would be.

I haven't seen such a hilarious use of a word's double meaning since this morning's Family Circus comic. You see, the two little boys had their pants down and were attacking each other with their penises. "Mommy, we are having a Cock Fight," said the older one while she smiled lovingly at the entangled mess. I personally think it would have been just as good without the word bubble, letting the image stand by itself (scan coming soon).

	B.B. Winkles
	not seanbabys homepage
	never ask a woman her age. don't ask me either.
	I really enjoy your I'm better than you so ha attitude. Too bad fact is I'm really better. ha. ha. ha. ha. ha. Shut-up.

"You might be right. You could be better than me. But only if the standard we use to judge that is based on remedial HTML tricks. So until I have more proof than some hilarious bouncy pink text, I'm going to assume you're much less better than me."

	Jacob Rens
	The Next Level
	20
	NES Awards
	I don't usually sign guestbooks. You should feel honoured that I took time from my saturday night boredom to sign this. Stick it to those un-educated fools for us Seanbaby! "I pity the foo' who messes with Fruit Pies, bitch!"

"I've felt honored by a lot of things. My third grade academic achievement award with my name spelled badly wrong, my x-men membership pin, my spoon collection, making it into Penthouse's most frequent letter writer club. But somehow, some kid spending his saturday night writing me a note about writing me a note is not something I'll include in my Gold Star Scrap Book. I will however, print the note out and wear it as a loin cloth. I love you."

	smith again

	19
	STUPID SITE
	i feel your pain seanbaby, stupid stupid stupid. but you forgot the bad gay jokes that christians have... the only funny one i heard was "what do you do when you drop a quarter in Castro (the gay area of san fran which is actual fun to go to) Kick it to Van Ness (a close street)" well anway talk to you later...smith~

"I don't think I'm going to put that joke on my page if you don't mind. Not just because I'm against the regurgitating of someone elses jokes for the comedy impaired, but because it kind of sucks. A better punchline would have been 'Yank his dong and hope for three cherries.' Because penis yanking is the cornerstone of humor."

From: Wonder boy

Age: 37

Homepage: http://www.insanepasses.com
08-Jul-99 05:19 PM

Looked at page, page cul, page funny, page sexy, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, by the way, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, you page porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, you need a lill message saying your page contains porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, otherwise god doesn't need to take down your page but the gov. porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, kewl page by the way porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, like this spam? porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, saying your page has porn will get people flocking 2 your page porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, bye. injoy the porn site porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn,

If the porn really works at attracting more readers like you, then you're only going to see Amish and Hindu women on my page from now on. I'm sure everyone knows I think you're an idiot, so here is a drawing of the letter t:
-> t <-

	Brent
	Mustang
	24
	Stupid Page
	Made me laugh for half an hour. This is good, and I agree with you on all points. I do suggest riding the subway more often - you will really see stupid people on those things. I mean really, do you have to make me stand up to let you get by so that you can run over to the doors 5 minutes before we get to your stop? We should remove all laws that protect stupid people from themselves...

"Yeah, we should remove all the laws that require people to stand up to get out of the way of people on the subway. And after that, we should put in special death darts that kill people that try to get up too soon! I mean there's stupid, and then there are people that do that! They are like wayyyy stupid."

	Sean
	www.oldmanmurray.com/seanbaby/personal/dumbass/mypage.htm (Clever satire)
	I keep coming back to your homepage not only to see any new things you might have added, but also your replies to new guestbook entries--one of the best things about your site. I also admire the way your site breaks with the prevalent mainstays of personal homepages these days: advertisement ads, ad hoc links, lazy design, carelessly written poetry, ravings, etc. Of course, you have your own ravings, but at least you've added pictures. I'm modeling my own site after yours because you've got some really good ideas, and perhaps other people who visit your site, if they choose to be offended by the material, should at least take note of the work put into the format and layout. If you're not careful, you could start a trend!

"If I'm responsible for starting a trend for pages that don't suck, I think I'm okay with that. Of course, as soon as having a good page becomes cool, I'm going to replace anything on mine with amateur porn and misspelled rants about how X-Men fanfiction is getting too cliche. Not to mention my collection of favorite internet forwards, broken links to Netscape's homepage, and big blinking text that says, 'Trouser Party!' And all those jerks on the subway that make me stand."

	David(The Ayatolla Of Rock &Rolla)Hart
	Fat City
	15
	NES
	Great Page Seanbaby! Please Visit My Page! Or Else! Thats Right! Yeah, you know what I'm talking about!

"I've only known you for a few sentence fragments, so I don't know if this is going to hurt your feelings or not- I'm not going to visit your page. Very busy with playdough."

	Lobsterboy
	14
	Seanbaby's NES page
	My dad kicked me out of the room for laughing too hard at these pages! I just have one question: Where is Bandai's painful attempt at Castlevania, Monster Party? You control some lifeless idiot who is walking home from a baseball field when he meets this winged freak. Their conversation goes something like this: "Hello. Let's go to the realm of monsters!" "Okay." It looks, sounds, and plays grotesquely, but it's still too damn fun! Lookit the pitiful attempt by Konami for finding new "famous" monsters! Including: A wishing well that tries to fling coins at you A pumpkin attatched to a sheet and a big face that tries to eat you You mainly control the boy, but when you eat a mysterious pill that you find on the ground, you suddenly can fly and breathe fire! Er..... can you say "shrooms?"

"I think one of the main reasons people like my pages is because all of the other ones are filled with reviews like that one."

	Hairless Yeti
	16
	That's personal.
	I cannot believe you people. Do you not support the hairless yetis? Please, help out by putting a purple and green striped ribbon on your page, and it should magically make the world better and stuff. Toodles, kiss kiss!

"Jesus Christ. Not another one of these fucking messages. Don't you people have special olympic events you need to train for?"

	zorro
	17
	atheist
	Dude, your page rules. I am forwarding it to all my friends. You view everything logically like what a normal human should. My crowd of about 20 is atheist and thinks very similarly. Do you go to Michigan State? I will be attending in August. -DC

"Even though I try for the Michigan State kind of feeling in my writing, I do not, in fact, attend class there. It was a very good guess, though, and I'll give you 212 more tries. Tell all your friends 'hi' from atheist member #DF-34982."

	Kami Horton
	Camogirl's Camoworld
	15 ( ALMOST CAN LEGALLY DRIVE IN MISSOURI,USA!)
	all of it!
	you have a great homepage!!! I loved it! I can be pretty crazy sometimes.... if ya lived here ya'd understand!:o) well hey check out my homepage sometime,its not quite as cool,but hey i made it! yes I'm a blonde! so dont use big words with me!!! heh heh. oh yeah I'm always hyper! and umm I'm either a redneck or a surfer girl,depends on the mood I'm in! I talk way too fast and too much... I also laugh too much! but-WHO CARES!?!?! sorry this is so retarded! lol talk later gator! byebye! love always,Kj PS. DAMNIT! I DO NOT have dimples!!! hehehe oh yeaaaaaahhhh-POWDER PUFF GIRLS RULE!!! lol :o)

"I think your note tee hee! makes more sense when I read it backwards. And I know lol! I'm not a model for good behavior, but you wahhta!!! shouldn't be doing (: crystal meth until you're eep! eep! at least 16. And haha fuck! I DO HAVE yah! DIMPLES! lmao!"

From: Captain Goto

Homepage: http://http://www.cadvision.com/poppmj/nesworst.htm
14-Jul-99 12:05 AM

this NES worst page sucks it proves how seanbaby is superior to all who attempt this. also, seanbaby, what about that SNK page i asked for? are ya gonna do it?

Oh shit. Thanks for reminding me. I even wrote it down:
"Hey - remember to make that page for that guy you don't know. He seems pretty cool AND he found a bad page on the internet. Call in sick to work next week - this is very important. Oh! Also remember to fuck your pets."

From: Father Party

Age: 44
03-Oct-99 12:07 AM

Perhaps I preach to the converted, if so fundicate those squares. If you have not yet discovered the party of the heaven's, your search must continue. Party on my sons.
Amen.

Father Party, if you were here, I'd grab your old rotting head and scream into your ear, loudly enough for you to make it out, "What the fuck are you talking about?" And if I wasn't in such a good mood from today's re-release of Transformers the Movie, I would have just deleted this cryptic cult shit.

From: darren

Age: 13
30-Oct-99 12:27 AM

dude, your website is easily one of teh greatest things i have ver seen.you are damn funny and teh nes page is tight. i would jsut like to say keep up teh good work adn you rock.
-darren

Thanks, darren. I called over a dyslexic friend to translate your note, and he tells me you said very nice things.

	Play/Rewind, or maybe that's the last peice of text I saw.
	SUPER A
	16
	Super Friends so far
	Fuck you and go to hell. No one should be that cool. And just cause your dick fits in the A:/ doesn't mean your having cyber sex. Okay, seriously you're my new hero. I'm just really jealous cause you can spell and use commas and get people to laugh with you. - SeanBaby (my new name) (PS) What's that "i" before "e" except after "c" and some thing gay about a "y" rule? (PPSS [looks like I just wrote "piss"... or "pepsi" ?]) Here's some background on my homepage. In school we had to make a website or program for our final project so my group made a website. In a few days we have to present to the class. Our whole website is a rip on this one fat dumb ass freshman with a superiority complex. The main carachter SUPER A looks exactly like him. Here's the fun part, the guy is in our class and will be subjected to the whole class laughing at him while we present. Re-reading that it sounds juevenial. Hmm, oh well!

"It's been my experience that teachers never seem to have a sense of humor when it comes to publicly ridiculing the fat kid for a school project. Now you have to decide whether a bad spoofy joke is worth the 12 minutes of detention, B- grade, and stern talking to you you'll get. And yeah, of course it is. It's how I spent my fucking high school days, anyway. When I wasn't sucking off custodians for heroin money."

From: justin simoni

Age: 18

Homepage: http://skazat.com
28-Oct-99 12:56 AM

yo seanbaby baby baby:
you've had to have sseen this before:

Mr T does NES

just spreadin the good word

No, I've never seen that before. But that's not surprising since it sucks and is only a paragraph long. Most people have better sense than to send crap like that to me.

From: Matt

Age: -

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Sands/4051/index.html
01-Nov-99 04:20 PM

When I first got here I thought your page was going to blow. It's not that bad, and your paper "the probe" kicks ass.
Laters,
Matt

I'd hate for that to happen in the future, so I'll add a line at the top of the front page that reassures everyone "Page does not blow." And every few sentences I'll remind readers, "What you are reading does not suck and is very good."

From: Jadrium Gossard

Age: 18

Homepage: http://www.angelfire.com/ut/satansbed
03-Nov-99 05:25 PM

your site is a website that contains html coding that can display text and/or pictures, you should have a proper disclaimer statement. your site was great to pass the time in computer lab...that was..until...the incident......

Or I could add a disclaimer at the top of the guestbook that warns visitors that other readers have left stupid jokes.

From: Zach

Age: 18

Homepage: http://lavender.fortunecity.com/mockingbird/267/index.html
28-Oct-99 05:02 PM

Since everyone else seems to be using pictures instead of actual messages now, here's mine.

Yeah, but if you noticed, the last graphic was David Bowie in his underwear. Not a fucking picture of a squirrel that you thought was funny because it has the same hilarious sack on it that you've had dangling between your dumbass legs for the past 18 years. How many times do I have to tell you people to stop being stupid before you listen?

From: Crispy

Age: 19

Homepage: http://www.angelfire.com/wa/Vincent/index.htm
23-Oct-99 11:09 PM

Seanbaby, your page is the center for insanity for the entire web, and I thank you for that. I wish I had your mad web design skills, and had watched more cartons and played more video games in my youth, so I could be like you. About the Love!Love! PrettySamy! page, I have watched the TV show the page is about (once) and it only slightly less weird than the page suggests. It's a parody of Sailor Moon. Sasami IS the master of food though.

<-----NOT SASAMI

"I chop down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra, I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa"

-The pet store owner that wants to be a lumberack

I know what kind of a show it is. Do you know how? I read a page about the show. The one I linked to. I even quoted it. That means I read it. That means I already read about the show. But thank you. Could you please write to let me know where I can find a page about fat chicks in party hats?

From: IAN BENMATITYAHU

Age: 18
24-Oct-99 01:29 PM

You are a very very sick person...And thats why I like you! You Rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should hang out in an old folk's home. A lot of those people are so sick, they're about to die. They would really make you rock.

From: Rollchan

Age: 16
24-Oct-99 01:38 PM

Your NES page ROX!! I looked at every single section and ended up rolling on the floor. =) My fave's the Megaman section, I spent hours there and I still can't believe how fucked up it is ;p I'm still trying to figure out whether you love or hate the good ol' nes games, though...

Sometimes to fully understand something, you need to have an understanding of sarcasm and irony. I shouldn't be in charge of this, but here's a tutorial:

words that end in "g" are less sarcastic than words ending in "k." Examples:
Your mom has a glass of Tang.
Your mom has a fucking cock.

I hope this helps. The only time I've ever not been sarcastic is that time I said I was a 47 year-old insurance salesman with metal pails for legs and a shiny monocle.

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