You'd be surprised how much adult book stores hate it when you take pictures of your friends jammed into a porno booth.

My adorable friend Tiffy-chan and I at the something something festival in San Francisco.

Norris and I investigating spooky circumstances at the haunted airport. He's the one I'm wearing as a scarf.

This is me at age 15 at vacation summer camp where I learned the wonders of the Lord and poontang.

This is me at age 18 at one of the many fraternity dances that required me and my date to wear the same shitty keepsake t-shirt.

And this is me at age 26 at another concert where Gabby tries to pretend she's not excited that I'm hugging her.

Random and I at a Sony party. I wasn't holding that second beer for anyone; I just really like drinking.

At The Temple of Skulls in the ruins of Chichen Itza, I found that I could control the very forces of death.

Gabs and I are amateur fortune tellers, and the good news is that all your dreams are going to come true this week. The bad news is that that includes the one where you're having sex with a nun and all of a sudden she has your dad's face.


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