19: Seanbaby Action Alpha EX Alien Strike
Mark: "Erik, check me out - I'm Seanbaby! 'Happy Earth Day, sectoid!' It's kind of sad that I'm living vicariously through a simulation of our friend Sean."
"That's not so bad. When I was a teenager, I had to make do pretending
to be Dan Akroyd in the Ghostbusters game for Commodore 64. Before that, I pretended
to be E.T. in the E.T. game for the 2600. But if you think about it, E.T. was really
just a midget pretending to be E.T. So there's like three layers of abstraction
before you even crack the surface of my fantasy life."
|After leaving the
sick couch, Erik and Mark discovered that there really is a Seanbaby game. It's for
the NUON - a new console from the
people who brought you some other things you've never heard of. The PR lady at the
booth gave Erik and Mark mints and told them that the untitled Seanbaby game was really
just a technology demo. And that -
"Tell us more about these mints." Erik interrupted.
"Yeah," said Mark, "These mints are really great. I'd like to know a few things about the NUON. Will these mints be packaged with it? If not, can the NUON be used to find out where to buy more mints?"
"Or better yet, where to get them for free?" said Erik. "Let me get to the point: can I just have some more mints? Thanks."
The lady continued her pitch "The name NUON defines the convergence of vid-"
"Would it be possible for you to not talk while I'm eating my new mint? You're kind of ruining it for me." Erik said.
"I'd like another mint too," Mark told the lady, "and also complete silence while I eat it."
"If you don't have any questions about the NUON, you have to leave," said the NUON rep.
"Allright. Will there ever be a machine that is a chair that you sit in and a shotgun is placed in your mouth and the shotgun dribbles mints down your throat, but every time someone purchases a NUON, the shotgun blows your head off? If there was, I'd totally sit in it, because it'd be the safest place on the planet since you're never gonna move unit one of these NUONs. This crazy thing is terrible." Erik informed the lady and then the lady stormed off with the mints.