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Deadly Towers. This game was originally called, "Shitty Towers," but when seventeen play testers went on a homicidal
rampage, its name was changed to remind us all of that cold, bloody morning. This is the story of Prince Myer, the arson, as he quests to burn down some evil towers.
Most of Prince Myer's adventure involves fighting flying rats and blue bouncy balls by throwing his sword. The manual describes it like this:
"SHORT SWORD -- You start the game with this sword. It is so weak, you feel lonely (you have no confidence in this sword)."
Don't try to make sense of it. Just do everything in your power to not play this game.
I think this game was released by a concerned parent group to get kids to stop playing Nintendo. And it worked. Hundreds of children everywhere threw their controllers at the television and went outside, desperate for any activity that didn't involve Prince Myer or his deadly water puddle enemies. Others continued to play, and inevitably dismembered most of their families. Was it all worth it? Just so a few kids could get some sun?
Since then, a group has formed called, "C.h.a.d. T.a.c.o." (Concerned Humans Against Deadly Towers And Christian Orgasms) They tend to be a little extreme, but you haven't lived until you've been to a Chad Taco cartridge burning party.
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Oh no! Prince Myer! He is feeling lonely because of his weak sword! And the ultimate deadly combination of fireballs, puddles, and blue beach balls has placed him in deadly peril! Can you save Prince Myer from his fate in this fantastic game of skill and wits?
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Graphics: 0 |
Looking at Deadly Towers is sort of like looking at a blank piece of gray
paper, except more boring and more ugly.
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Fun: 0 |
Take every besmearching comment I've made about how the other
19 games suck. Now stick them all here and add some vulgarities.
Put an exclamation mark at the end of every sentence and scream them
out loud. That's how much I hate this game.
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Party Use: 5 |
You can play a drinking game with Deadly Towers. Have one of your
friends (the smallest one in case they need to be restrained) play the game.
The rest of the people watch, and drink every time he vocally expresses
his disgust with the game. You can theoretically take turns, but everyone will
probably be too drunk to move in a few minutes.
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Instead of an apology, the grand prize winner of the Worst Nintendo Game's producer sent in this acceptance speech. It's both impotent and sad, like the game itself:
From: Alan Weiss
To: seanbaby@seanbaby.com
Subject: Deadly Towers
It was originally titled "Hell's Bells" but we couldn't use that.
I produced the game and it wasn't THAT bad for the times...some of the others are WAY worse. Nice to see it again, though.
Alan Weiss - Producer
LEGO Media International
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