Renegade. A game that definitely needed to be made. There just weren't any other games involving guys walking around and fighting bad guys on the street. And someone took that brilliant idea, added bad graphics, terrible control, monotonous situations, and called it Renegade. As an appropriate afterthought, they stuck a garbage can on the title screen.
In this mockery of a fighting game, you got to fight crowds of people who looked just like you. The game helped you tell everyone apart by giving you a pair of brown slacks and a matching leather vest. So when you're done beating up the armies of evil clones, you'll be dressed for any gay western club you might want to get a light beer at. "Hello, you Renegade. Buy me a drink?"
The fights would continue for hours, until you make it to empty rooms where you're forced to decide on a door. It seemed cool at first that maybe you were in a game where you could go two different ways, but it was just one more way for Renegade to piss you off. In Renegade's town, most doors are magic teleporters back to the first subway. I think it's because of the gang members' habitual use of crack. I heard it can destroy the space time continuum. Anyway, it will usually take a person of average patience about one of these to decide to never play Renegade again.
Thank you for the hug. Is it okay that I just kicked your friend? Hey! You're still hugging me! What kind of a subway is this?
||I would think that since there was only one guy you fight in the game, they could have made him look cooler.
||If you play this game for 30 seconds, you can just turn it off. You just got the
full experience of the deep Renegade gameplay.
||Thrown Controller Likelihood: 97%
||There's nothing like forcing yourself to play this disgusting game for hours
only to pick the wrong door and have to start over. The elderly, small children,
and people prone to violence or seizures are recommended not to play Renegade.