20: Extreme Sports With the Berenstein Bears

19: Bible Adventure

18: Kriss Kross: Make My Video

17: Bubsy 3D

16: Bad Street Brawler

15: Total Recall

14: Rapjam Volume One

13: AIRCARS

12: Night Trap

11: Heroes of the Lance

10: Revolution X

9: Custer's Revenge

8: White Men Can't Jump

7: Superman 64

6: Legend of Zelda: Wand of Gamelon

5: Virtuoso

4: Captain Novolin

3: Fight For Life

2: Club Drive

1: E.T. The Extraterrestrial





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#2: Club Drive (Jaguar)

Club Drive has all types of gameplay, but most of missions have you driving an RC car around a badly-rendered living room to collect glowing balls of string. What makes this unique from other string-collecting driving games is that the game doesn't care if you decide to drive directly through chair legs or walls. Not that the game cares if you hurry, but this can save you time. The only problem I found was that walls sometimes decided to behave like walls, and most of my games ended with my car driving through one side of the couch and somehow becoming trapped inside it for all eternity. I think they might have stole their programming code from Dolphin Adventures in Tuna Nets.


The one noble thing about this game is that it was made entirely by the handicapped. Probably.
Running into things, when the game notices that you have, shows off Club Drive's most unique failure: physics. For example, if you nose dive a remote control car into the ground from the top of a table, you might expect it to break or at least bounce or something. Not in this game. Club Drive has invented its own bizarre set of rules where a high impact causes your car to levitate into the air, fly around for a little bit, flip over onto its wheels and gently float back down to the floor. It's hard to say whether it's a glimpse into the future of driving or just someone being an idiot.

Graphics: 0/10
Since no matter where you are it's a featureless landscape of flat color, there's no way to tell which you're supposed to go. All it takes is one crash or yank of the wheel to disorient you enough that you drive twenty minutes in the wrong direction.

Fun: 0/10
You may not always be able to tell if you're going the right way, but you can always be sure that you don't care if you get there.

Physics: 0/10
Video games are supposed to take liberties with physics to keep them fun. No gameplayer wants realistic physics where running down stairs makes his boobs jiggle and your pork-fed heart to palpitate. So I'm not saying the game would be any more fun if the cars acted like real cars, but it looks like the people who were in charge of Club Drive's physics haven't even heard of two things running into each other.

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