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 #18: Kris Kross: Make My Video (Sega CD)
Your job in the game is to listen to radio callers and construct a Kriss Kross video according to their random specifications. They demand insane things like, "No shots of cars, lots of horizontal wipes, a goat, and please end the maddening terror that is my life!" When you're making your video, you can switch between three sets of streaming footage. One of them is the original Kriss Kross video, and the other two are whatever non-copyrighted stock crap they could get. Some of it is old cartoons, some of it is tourism videos, but most of it is such bad quality you can't figure out what it's supposed to be. It unleashes your full video-making potential, because as great as the original MTV video is, you'll find that vintage footage of can-can dancers and old cartoon women talking in front of laundry machines really makes you wanna JUMP JUMP. Graphics: 1/10 It's so grainy you can barely see anything, and any "special effect" you add to your video just makes it look like your TV broke. So if you normally watch MTV through a sandstorm on a TV with no vertical hold while you're huffing nitrous retard, it'll seem like norma... actually, no, this game will still be worse. 
Fun: 0/10I didn't think you could make something worse that was already two hopping kids with their clothes on backwards. These people could have made a game about ass cancer worse than the original. Incantational Powers and Abilities: 8/10 Something like Kriss Kross doesn't happen without the help of wizards, or maybe Satan. This may sound crazy, but hear me out: The [miggidymiggidymiggidy]Mack Daddy and the [diggidydiggidydiggidy]Daddy Mack have got to be time travelling magicians from the distant future who used their advanced knowledge of how to wear things backwards to infiltrate our music industry. Which means by the time you're reading these insults I've written about them, they'll have made me into a toad. Next... |
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