Directed by: Fred C. Newmeyer, Sam Taylor
Written by: John Grey, Sam Taylor
Starring: Grok, mmm-CHOCK, Crunk, Thundarr, Dino-Buddy
Seanbaby: This is the first silent movie about a nerdy student that wants to be cool. Which means it's responsible for every Patrick Dempsey movie ever made plus 80 percent of the other movies that came out in the eighties. And since finding a copy of this movie would be like finding an unfrozen caveman or a native American, the closest you can come to seeing it is watching Teen Wolf on a black and white TV with the sound off.
Erik: This movie stars Harold Lloyd, the less popular Buster Keaton of his time. Unlike Keaton, Lloyd didn't do his own stunts, wasn't funny, and nobody liked him very much. People went to see his movies mainly because the Japs hadn't invented television yet and people didn't have electricity in their houses. So when night fell, they could either sit in the dark or put on their good cowboy pants and ride their donkeys to the moving picture show. I guess the 1800 AFI voters were not among the 98% of moviegoers who - instead of trading a penny for an evening of light and warmth with
Harold Lloyd - chose to sit in their cold, pitch-black apartments and wait nervously for the sun to reappear.
Fun Freshman Fact #1: In 1925, Motion Picture Magazine claimed that in The Freshman, "Some of the gags are old." We don't want to hate this movie because it comes from a time where man feared fire, but when a movie is considered unoriginal and there were only about three other movies in the entire world before it, that's really fucking sad.
Fun Freshman Fact #2:
In 1919, a bomb blew two of Harold Lloyd's fingers off. Which we think may have sounded a little something like this: "KABLOOMMsquissshhhhAOOOWWW!!!"
Fear of a Black Hat
Directed by: Rusty Cundieff
Written by: Rusty Cundieff
Starring: Larry B. Scott (who film historians will always refer to as Lambda Lambda Lambda's Lamar Latrell)
Erik: This is the rap comedy CB4 should have been, but that's not what I want to talk about. Though my eyes will probably spontaneously combust for saying it, the Calculando Calrissian 2000 should have picked the 1990 Matthew Broderick comedy The Freshman for the new number 79. I don't know what happened. But I do know that any error in the CC2K can't be good for us or our ability to not have deadly laser beams melt through our faces.